Can shy guys get a girlfriend?
No, you’re doomed for the rest of your life.
You will die as a desperate virgin with a constant erection. Not even a bucket of ice can get that thing down. You’ll never taste the sweet juice of a girl’s private parts and you’ll never hold the hand of a beautiful woman who looks at you, smiles, and calls you her boyfriend.
That sounds pretty bad, huh?
Calm down and please don’t jump out of the window.
I was just joking. The truth is that shy men can get girlfriends. You might not believe me now, but you can actually use your little issue to your advantage. I’ll show you how.
You might not know it, but I used to suffer from social anxiety and panic attacks. I was a mess. And I couldn’t get a girlfriend, until I followed a few simple rules that taught me…
I hope my journey inspires you to take action and to get the girl of your dreams…
Can a Shy Guy get a Girlfriend? The 10 Rules
I wanted to have a girlfriend and I wanted it so bad.
Have you ever had the thought of dying alone?
My old, my shy self, had this thought a gazillion times. Heck, I was 18 when I had this thought for the very first time. It continued to hunt me in my 20s.
I was unable to convince girls to want me.
I’m not proud of the last one. But I’m proud that I failed so miserably because my failure eventually allowed me to find out what it takes to get a girlfriend. Yes, your mindset is one part, but it goes deeper than that.
There are certain rules you have to follow…
Shy Guy Rule #1: Face Your Shyness Like a Man
Denial is a motherfucker.
Unfortunately, many people have this miserable, lethargic, and growth-suppressing dude as their neighbor. He hides in the closet and he comes out whenever you can’t take the pain. He tries to help you, but he pulls you further down. Denial knows how to do his job.
Does that sound familiar?
Excuses, oh these sweet excuses…
You don’t have a problem. No, it’s her fault and their fault and by the way, it was raining. If you continue to “deal” with your shyness by denying it, you’ll never get a girlfriend.
It sounds brutal but it’s the truth.
You have to accept the fact that you have a problem that you want to overcome. And you can overcome it. I have and so can you. It all starts by throwing denial out of your closet and replacing it with your buddy Mr. Acceptance.
Shy Guy Rule #2: Do Whatever it Takes to Overcome Your Shyness
You have to overcome it…at least to a certain degree.
Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you with the truth. Maybe I should do what every other dating coach does and tell you about this one magic button you have to press to overcome your shyness in just a few seconds.
Yeah, that would be fucking brilliant, right?
No, it wouldn’t because it’s a lie.
There is no quick fix to overcome your shyness. You can’t just download instant confidence into your brain. Reading my book Rise of the Phoenix and putting my advice into practice definitely helps. But you still have to put in the work.
Will it be easy?
News flash: It won’t be easy. But it will worth it. You take one step at the time, one foot in front of the other. And no, you don’t have to start by approaching girls.
Start wherever you feel you have to start. Take it from there.
Shy Guy Rule #3: Start Where You Feel Comfortable
If you’re shy, there’s a high chance that you’re an introvert.
How do I know that?
Well, I’m an introvert myself and I have coached hundreds of men of the same breed. I know more about you than you think and I’m pretty sure you’re more comfortable in quiet environments. I could be wrong but that’s what my experience tells me.
Take me as an example:
Do you know where I suck?
Don’t make it so hard when you can have it so easy. Approach girls where you feel comfortable…at least in the beginning. You don’t have to drag yourself to the club with your friends if you hate this environment.
The wrong environment leads to shitty results because you feel like shit.
Start where you feel comfortable. Once you master the art of meeting women at these venues, you can expand. Just follow this simple rule: No global expansion before you dominate the local market.
Shy Guy Rule #4: Don’t Give up When It Doesn’t Feel Good
Not all shy guys can get a girlfriend.
Most men, especially the men in my generation (I’m a millennial) give up way too fast. We are so used to instant gratification and instant access to everything that we struggle to persevere when it doesn’t feel good.
Here’s the truth: It won’t always feel good.
But all these experiences are necessary on your path. There are no ups without downs. And believe me. You can learn a lot more from your failures than from your successes. That’s for sure.
Can shy guys get a girlfriend?
Yes, they can…but only if they persevere.
Shy Guy Rule #5: Learn Seduction on a Theoretical Level
How can you make sure that you’ll persevere?
Learn as much as you can.
It’s your job to study the art of seduction. Really study it. Learning the principles and techniques on a theoretical level will give you the confidence to go out and to start your journey. You are shy. That’s why you need to feel safe.
Knowledge gives you this feeling of safety.
"You cannot open a book without learning something" – Confucius
Become a seduction expert. It’s worth it because a shy guy who knows what to do is more confident and assertive than a shy guy who has no clue what the hell he’s supposed to do. Study the art of seduction and you’ll know exactly what to do.
Shy Guy Rule #6: Don’t Forget to Practice…a Lot
Did you read my articles and my book?
Now you know what you have to do. It’s time for the next step. It’s time to go out and practice. And remember. Don’t give up after the first rejection. Rome wasn’t built in one day and you won’t get a girlfriend in one day.
Mastering the art of seduction on a theoretical AND on a practical level is the key to success.
It’s really simple:
The more you practice, the more women you’ll meet. Every conversation, every instant date, and every first date is a chance to meet your future girlfriend. Girls need to kiss a lot of frogs until they find their prince and you need to approach a lot of brats until you find the one.
What are you waiting for?
Practice, practice and practice some more.
Shy Guy Rule #7: Focus on Compatible Girls
Now you know that practice makes perfect.
But there’s a wrong way to do it and a right way to do it. As a shy guy, it’s easy to get discouraged when you practice the wrong way. That’s why you have to do it right. And you do it right by focusing on the right girls.
Let me ask you a couple of questions:
It’s so easy to fall into this trap. The movie industry, the porn industry, and the music industry makes you believe that these are the kind of girls you should have. Then you can call yourself a real man. I fell into this trap.
I dated strippers and badass bitches…and it was horrible.
What about you?
Believe me. You’ll be much happier with a shy and introverted girlfriend than with a tattooed badass chick that only dates Hells Angels members. Find girls you are compatible with. That’s when the magic happens.
Shy Guy Rule #8: Don’t Allow Your Shyness to Cripple You
What if your shyness tries to sabotage your progress?
This is the hardest part of being a shy guy.
You overcame your shyness, but then there’s this one bad day. Nothing is working. You’re in a terrible mood and everything seems to fall apart. It’s comparable with alcoholics who relapse after they lose their job.
Keep your eyes on the prize!
Don’t allow your shyness to sabotage your success. You’ve come along way. The worst thing you can do is to define yourself AGAIN as the shy guy who can’t get a girlfriend. Instead, feel the sensation and remind yourself of what you have achieved.
I know you have what it takes to get a girlfriend.
Shy Guy Rule #9: Talk about Your Shyness
You are a shy guy and that’s okay.
Of course, your primary goal is to overcome this issue or at least to control it. But that doesn’t mean that you have to hide it. Please don’t do what so many other guys do. Don’t pretend to be arrogant and indifferent when you’re not.
Instead, do this:
I know what you’re thinking.
You think that’s bullshit, illogical, and weak. But I have news for you: It’s not. Being open about the way you feel is one of the most effective seduction techniques. Unfortunately, most guys don’t do it because they believe that being alpha and cold is the answer.
Can shy guys get a girlfriend?
Yes, you can get the woman of your dreams. But you can only get her if you have the courage to open up about your little issue. Sooner or later she’ll find out anyway. It’s better to mention it on the first date.
What if she’s also shy and introverted?
She’ll appreciate your honesty even more.
Shy Guy Rule #10: Prepare Yourself for Every Step
Are you ready for more ways to control your shyness?
Then listen to Robert H. Schuller:
“Spectacular achievement is always preceded by unspectacular preparation.”
I wholeheartedly agree. Preparation is everything and without it, you’ll achieve nothing. Okay, you can still achieve success, but it’s definitely easier if you do your homework. The good news is that you’ve already done it.
What else can you do?
You can prepare yourself for every step along the way. Leave no stone unturned and make sure that you know what you have to do when the time comes.
Here are some examples:
You can find all of this and more in my eBook course Rise of the Phoenix.
Summed Up Wisdom
Can shy guys get a girlfriend? Yes, but only if you follow the ten rules I share with you in this article. First, you have to face your shyness like a man. Stop denying it and start accepting it. That’s the first step toward a new life…and a happy relationship.
Don’t even think about giving up when the wind blows in your face. I know what you want. You want instant success and guess what? We all want it, but the truth is that success takes time, especially if you’re shy. Learn a lot and practice a lot.
And focus on the girls who are good for you. Let’s face it. A badass chick who likes extroverted party guys is definitely not the perfect girlfriend for you. You’ll be much happier with a shy and introverted girl who appreciates you for opening up about your little issue.