“I had no idea that Bolivian girls are THAT beautiful…”
That’s what I said to myself when I stared at my laptop.
I always thought that the women in this country are tiny, overweight and well, ugly. That might be true for some of them, but definitely not for the hot girls I saw on Latin American Cupid.
Then I thought about all the beautiful women that were born in this country.
That’s why I decided to answer the following questions:
The list goes on and on…and I’m still in shock. But then I realized something. I realized that, even though they are stunning, it can be tricky to date them. Heck, there are dozens of things you have to do and dozens of things you must avoid at all cost.
Let’s have a look at what you should and at what you should not do when dating a hot Bolivian woman…
8 Do’s When Dating Hot Bolivian Women (1-8)
I won’t bore the shit out of you with generic dating advice. You won’t hear me talking about being nice, bringing her flowers, and holding the door for her.
This is Bolivia. You need specific advice.
You need to know why you should praise the Lord, talk about politics, and why you have to eat everything she cooks for you…even if it tastes like vomit.
Are you ready?
1. Appreciate that No Bolivian Woman Looks the Same
Now I know why they are so hot.
I just had a look at the different ethnic groups in Bolivia and now everything makes sense.
68% of the Bolivian women you can meet online are Mestizo. In other words, they are half Latin American and half white…and most of them are pretty hot. Seriously, this ethnic group is responsible for 95% of the beauties in this country.
What about the other ethnic groups?
With approximately 20% Quechua and Aymara, Bolivia belongs to the Latin American countries with the most Indigenous people. Unfortunately, the indigenous girls are by far not as sexy as the Mestizo girls…at least in my opinion.
2. Praise the Lord for all the Traditional Catholic Bolivian Brides
I have good news for you.
Okay, in case you’re a Muslim, you won’t be so happy to hear that. But if you’re a Catholic Christian, you’ll jump from your chair and scream “hallelujah”.
Most women in Bolivia are Catholic.
Yes, they are REALLY Catholic. If they don’t go to church, their grandma gives them hell. And if they come home with a potential husband who doesn’t believe in Jesus, mommy gives her hell too.
The moral of the story:
It’s super easy to find a beautiful Christian bride in Bolivia.
3. Realize that Bolivian Women Don’t Hate Jews
Are you Jewish?
You might think that the women in this South American country hate you. I know why. You’ve heard President Evo Morales call Israel a terrorist state. And you’re probably pissed that you now need a visa.
But just because Evo doesn’t like you, doesn’t mean that the local women don’t like you.
In fact, the opposite is true:
So don’t worry. You won’t get slapped for approaching the local girls. You’re still welcome.
4. Talk About Politics with Your Future Bolivian Girlfriend
You don’t have to talk about politics with her, at least not if she’s your girlfriend for two weeks.
But what if there’s more?
Heck, I know how it is to visit a county with the intention to have a good time, just to fall in love. Life happens. And in case you meet a Bolivian girl you want to spend a part or the rest of your life with, you NEED to talk about politics.
You’re (probably) from a capitalistic Western country where people believe in individualism and economical freedom. Guess what? She’s not. She was born and raised in a country that is run by a left-wing socialist president.
The good news is that it’s dirt cheap because, well, a socialist country will always stay on the ground. The bad news is that she (maybe) believes in the opposite of what you believe in. it’s your job to find out if this maybe is true.
Maybe you’ll meet a pro-Western freedom fighter.
I know that it’s uncomfortable to talk about this stuff, but you have to do it. You have to do it BEFORE you call her your girlfriend and before you meet her socialist daddy.
5. Meet Hot Bolivian Women on this Online Dating Site
Here’s the deal:
If you want to meet stunning Bolivian women online, there’s only ONE dating site I can recommend. And no, it’s not Bolivianhotties.com (Can someone check if this site actually exists?)
It’s this one:
Latin American Cupid - the only Latin dating site with more than 3.000.000 members
Yes, that’s a lot of zeros. And a lot of Bolivian women are waiting for you. I just logged into my dashboard and ran a quick search. Here’s the result:
The result are smoking hot women whose faces I can’t show (damn you, protection of privacy law!) and more than 1000 female members. And these are only the girls who are younger than 31.
Bolivia is such a small country, but it seems like all the women who are not yet married, transgender, or dead, joined Latin American Cupid.
That’s great because I show you proof of how I got 70 replies from sexy Latinas and I walk you through the whole signup process (it's free to join)...
6. Eat Everything She Cooks for You. EVERYTHING!
What’s the fastest way to get rid of your Bolivian girlfriend?
In case you ever want to break up with her, refuse to eat her food. Or just eat a little bit. As long as you leave more than 10% on the plate, she’ll be pissed. No joke.
Bolivia is famous for its amazing dishes. I just have to think about eating Pique a lo macho or Milanesa and I’m drooling on my laptop. But they are even more famous for being pissed when you don’t eat their food.
Not eating everything = being rude
You might get away with accidentally murdering her cat, but you won’t get away with the food crime.
Telling her that you’re on a diet? Don’t make me laugh!
You have to eat what she cooks…everything. Love goes through the stomach, especially in this country.
7. Spend a Romantic Weekend in the Salt Hotel
Are you looking for a romantic getaway?
You meet this beautiful Bolivian girl online. Her name is Laura. She has a body that makes you moan “mhhhm” and a face that makes you say “thank you, God”. She’s stunning. You stare at her perfect body while she walks to the bathroom to take a shower. She’s naked. And you lick…the wall.
You naughty bastard! I knew what you were thinking!
I’m not talking about sex. I’m talking about the romantic getaway you stay in. And I’m not just talking about any normal romantic hotel. Nope. You’ll stay in the Palacio de Sal, a hotel that’s located at the edge of Salar de Uyuni. And it’s made of salt.
Oh, I just checked it. It’s actually forbidden to lick the walls. I guess you have to lick…
8. Get Over the Fact that You’re Dating a Dwarf
Remember your romantic night in the Palacio de Sal?
She’s naked and you enjoy looking at her beautiful body. Then you follow her into the bathroom. You don’t want her to be all alone under the shower. Then you see it. It’s one of those glass-shattering moments.
She’s standing right next to the lavatory…and she can barely look over it.
When you join Latin American Cupid and search for Bolivian women, you’ll have to look closer to see the full picture. They are hot. No doubt about it. But if you look at “height” in their profile, you’ll be shocked.
With an average height of 4 feet and 11.5 inches, Bolivia is home to the shortest people in the world.
Yep, they are shorter than South East Asians. If you’re dating a Bolivian girl, you’re most likely dating a dwarf. But she’s a hot Latina dwarf, so get over it.
10 Don’ts When Dating Hot Bolivian Women (9-18)
Now you know everything you SHOULD do when dating Bolivian girls.
But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. What’s more important is that you know what NOT to do. I mean, you’ll get away with making fun of her short legs and her tiny, tiny body. But you won’t get away with a 50/50 relationship.
And did I mention that you’ll die if you date the wrong woman or look for the right woman in the wrong city?
Here’s what you SHOULD NOT do if you want to date a hot Bolivian woman and if you want to stay alive…
9. Don’t Try to Meet Bolivian Girls in La Paz
Here are a few facts about La Paz, the city with the sear of the government:
In case you are one of my loyal readers, you know that I was born with a congenital heart defect and that I survived two very painful heart surgeries. A couple of months ago I asked my doctor if it would be okay to visit La Paz.
Here’s what my doctor said:
“You can go there, but you might never come back.”
This is not a joke. I’m dead serious. If you have lung problems or heart problems, you should not visit La Paz. It’s the highest capital in the world and altitude sickness is normal.
Even the hottest woman is not worth risking your health.
Hell, today it has 2 degrees Celsius in La Paz. In Santa Cruz de la Sierra, the largest city in the country, it has 31 degrees Celsius. More women, better weather, no health risk…it’s a no-brainer.
10. Don’t Be Intimidated by Her Language Skills
Bolivia has 37 official languages and if you want to meet local girls, you need to learn them all!
I’m just kidding.
But it’s true. There was a time when they really had 37 official languages. Nowadays they have four.
Spanish, Quechua, Aymara and Guarani.
I doubt that you had a Quechua class in high school, but you might speak one or two words of Spanish.
What if you don’t?
Yesterday, I chatted with two beautiful Bolivian girls on Latin American Cupid. Both of them could speak English. Relax, gringo.
11. Don’t Start a Conversation about Their Neighboring Countries
I know that you want to get laid (and maybe even married) but now you have to survive a two-minute history lesson. What I’m about to teach you is important for your first date, your first steamy night, and for your first child.
Forget about the first child. Here’s what you have to know:
Heck, they even hate Argentina and its lovely women. In fact, the people of Bolivia hate all their neighboring countries. That’s something you have to know.
You meet an incredibly sexy Bolivian girl and on your first date you suggest a trip to Chile. Or you tell her about your best buddy from Paraguay. Or even worse, you mention your Brazilian ex-girlfriend.
All these countries got a part of their land (that’s why they don’t have a beach) and all of these countries should not be mentioned on the first date.
12. Don’t be Afraid to Date a Sexy Entrepreneurial Latina
The women of Bolivia are sexy, small, and smart. And many of them are entrepreneurs. But nothing is as it seems…
The official truth:
The Global Entrepreneurship Monitor revealed in January 2009 that Bolivia has the highest potential when it comes to entrepreneurial activities.
The real truth:
The people in this country are forced to start their own businesses because socialist governments are not particularly good at creating jobs.
It’s likely that at least some of the girls you meet are entrepreneurs. It’s unlikely that any of them earns more than $400 a month. But that doesn’t matter. As an entrepreneur I know how good it feels to talk with a woman who actually knows what you’re talking about.
13. Don’t Date a Wrestling Cholita
In case you want to date a Wrestling Cholita, I declare you insane…
No amount of LSD could make me watch this show. But that’s not the point. The point is that you should read her online dating profile VERY carefully. If she’s a wrestler, she might not be the feminine Bolivian girl that I’m talking about.
Don’t leave a hate comment under this article, just because you end up on a date with Dave Bautista.
You have been warned.
14. Don’t Date Rural Bolivian Girls
Just don’t do it…
Rural Bolivian girls are a bit like the Wrestling Cholitas. In fact, most Wrestling Cholitas are from rural areas of the country. Otherwise, they would be sitting in an office building and not throwing chairs at each other.
Before writing this article I talked to two guys who’ve been to Bolivia and who dated local girls. They both told me that the rural girls and the women in Santa Cruz de la Sierra are like day and night.
You’re not in Thailand. You can’t expect the village girls to look as groomed, slim, and feminine as the girls in the big cities.
15. Don’t Be Scared of the Dried Llama Fetuses
I had to laugh so hard when one of the guys I interviewed told me about the day he met the parents of this girlfriend.
Here’s what happened:
He stepped into their house and her parents welcomed him. Everything seemed normal. Then he turned around. Boom!
He saw two dried Llama fetuses and he screamed like a girl.
I have to be honest. I would have done the same. That’s why I want to warn you that you might see dried Llama fetuses in the house of your Bolivian girlfriend’s parents. Apparently, it should bring luck. For me it triggers a vomiting reflex. But maybe I’m outdated.
Let me know in the comments below how you would react.
16. Don’t Even Think about a Western 50/50 Relationship
Here’s what Bolivian women want:
They want a responsible man who can take care of himself and his partner.
Here’s what they don’t want:
They don’t want a man who is so responsible that he believes that every woman on earth wants a 50/50 relationship, just like in the West.
Don’t make this mistake!
Bolivian girls grow up in a patriarchal society in which the man is the leader. If you don’t want to be the leader, you are the follower. But she won’t follow you because she expects you to lead. You are the head of the family. She’s the tail.
That’s how it has always been and that’s what she expects.
17. Don’t Try to Kiss, Grab or Grope Her in Public
The Bolivian dating culture is different than the dating culture in other South American countries.
I was shocked too. But that’s how it is.
This is one of the only (maybe the only) South American countries where public display of affection is not cool…and I honestly don’t know why.
Maybe it’s because of the socialist government. Maybe it’s cultural. All you need to know is that you should keep your hands in YOUR pockets and your tongue in YOUR mouth until you are somewhere safe.
18. Don’t Drool When She’s Getting Closer and Closer
But once you are in your apartment…
I don’t want to reveal too much. All I want to say is this:
She will get closer and closer until you can feel her breath on your skin. In fact, she doesn’t even wait until she’s at your place. She won’t kiss you in public. That’s true. But she will talk to you in public…very close.
Bolivians interact face to face. It’s normal.
But be warned:
Just because her lips are only two centimeters away from yours, doesn’t mean that she’s ready to get steamy.
Well, maybe it means exactly that.
You’ll find out on your first date with one of the hot Bolivian women you’ll meet on Latin American Cupid.
Summed Up Wisdom
There are some things you should do when dating Bolivian girls. One of them is to talk about politics. Another one is to eat all the food she cooks for you, even if you have to throw up afterwards.
But of course, there are also some things that you should avoid at all cost. You shouldn’t scream like a girl when you see dried Llama fetuses in her parent’s house (that can happen) and you shouldn’t be surprised when she comes closer and closer (that will happen).
As long as you meet Bolivian women on the Latin dating site I recommend in this article and as long as you avoid the city La Paz, you can find a woman to date and avoid a heart attack at the same time.