“Am I too attached to her?”
Children are not the only ones who have the problem that they are sometimes way to clingy. It might be cute when you were clinging to the coat-tails of your mother when you were a little boy, but it is definitely not cute when you are clinging to the dress of a girl you want to undress, just because you hope this needy behaviour will motivate her to stay with you forever.
Sorry but this is not cute, it is desperate.
Until this day I haven’t met one woman who would rather date a desperate man instead of a self-confident man.
Because I wanted to find out more about the reasons for a form of attachment that deserves to be labelled as a sickness, I asked Google for help. Surprisingly, all the articles that I found were full of advice for women who wanted to know whether or not they are too attached to a man (probably a Global Seducer).
That’s all well and good but what do you do when you are a man and you want to find out if you show a woman in a healthy way that you are in love with her, or if you are about to scare her away with your clingy behaviour.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any useful advice for guys. Maybe it is because it is not socially accepted for a guy to admit that he suffers from a major form of attachment disorder. Maybe it is because the common belief is that only small vulnerable girls can be too attached and that guys don’t have this problem.
That’s why there are millions of guys out there who wait every second by the phone until the girl they met an hour ago finally calls. That’s why there are guys who spend all their money on a girl who obviously exploits them.
We can either continue to pretend that men can’t be too attached to women and witness how more and more men ruin their lives, their careers and their libido in the hope to finally win the heart of a woman who is anything but good for them, or we can finally wake up and realize that a lot of men have a serious issue with attachment.
In case you have the feeling that you are too clingy when it comes to a particular woman, you should definitely have a closer look at the symptoms that this disorder brings along.
After you have identified the symptoms, it is your decision if you want to work on yourself in order to get rid of behavioural patterns that are anything but healthy, or if you want to stay the little boy who tries to please a girl who doesn’t want to be pleased by you.
You are definitely way to attached to her when…
1. You Text Her All the Freaking Time
A woman who is interested in you loves to receive a text every now and then. Thereby, you show her that you are still thinking about her. However, every woman hates it when a guy sends her one text message after another without giving her the chance to reply.
By doing this you not only communicate to her that you have no other interests and hobbies in your life than texting her, it also shows that you are a very insecure person. The last thing a self-confident guy needs is to hear every ten minutes that he is still desirable and that he hasn’t been dumped yet.
As a self-confident and interesting guy you are way too busy living your amazing life to care about this.
Is this you? Then get a life!
She can be attracted to you when you approach her and even if she wants nothing more than sleeping with you, you can mess everything up by spamming her with texts that reveal your insecurity and neediness.
Texting a girl is great but texting her every hour leads you on the road to loneliness.
2. You Want to Be in a Relationship Before the First Date
If you think you met the girl of your dreams whenever a girl reacts positively to your seduction attempts, you can definitely answer the question “am I too attached to her?” with yes.
I could punch my old self in the balls when I think back to the time when I embarked on my journey towards becoming a successful seducer. I did this all the time.
I assumed that every girl who gave me her number was the girl of my dreams.
She was the one who liked me, she was the one who rescued me from my loneliness and she was the one who was ready to spread her legs for me. She was THE ONE.
A short time afterward I met another girl who gave me her number and she was even prettier than the girl I met before. I was convinced that she would be my future girlfriend.
This went on and on and it didn’t get better until I finally realized that I could definitely answer the question “Am I too attached?” with yes. I was too attached to every single girl who gave me her number.
Pretty pathetic, huh?
Thankfully, I decided to work on myself and to overcome this insecurity.
Your ultimate goal on this journey should be to leave all your insecurities behind you and to be able to look in the mirror while saying “I love this guy”. The moment you reached this stage, women want to be your girlfriend as soon as you look them into the eyes for the first time.
Once you have reached this level you don’t even think about a relationship before you know her for a while and had sex with her a couple of times. That’s the position you want to be in.
Don’t even think about giving up before you have reached this level.
3. You Can’t Concentrate on Anything Else
Even if the girl you are interested in looks like a Victoria’s Secret Angel, you have to remember that you also have a life besides her. It is not only important to realize this in order to become attractive to her, but also to not neglect aspects of your life that are (nearly) as important as getting a woman.
What can possibly be as important as having fulfilling relationships with amazing women?
Well, your job, your passions, your career, your friends and your family.
Even though I absolutely love to seduce women, my life consists of more than chasing girls. I have amazing friends, I work out regularly, I follow my passion by writing articles like the one you are just reading and I travel the world. As soon as you overcome your fears, develop a deep feeling of self-love and live an exciting lifestyle, women will automatically be attracted to you.
4. You Get a Heart Attack Every Time your Phone Rings
I know it’s a great feeling when a girl you are interested in texts or calls you. Even if you are patiently waiting for a call from a girl you want to be with so bad that the sound of her name already forces you to get a medium-hard erection, there is no need to leave everything behind as soon as your phone starts to ring.
There is no reason to get a mental breakdown, just because it was your mother who called you and not your future wife who you have only talked to for about 146 seconds.
Don’t blame your caring mother for the fact that you are a bit crazy.
It’s not her fault that you are staring at your screensaver for hours, without moving an eyebrow. In case you show exactly this behaviour, you are definitely way too attached.
5. You Are Offended when She has No Time
How do you react when you call your dream girl, ask her if she has time and she tells you that she is very busy this week? In case you get angry and want to throw your phone against the wall as soon as you end the call, you can definitely answer the question “Am I too attached to her?” with a big fat YES.
Maybe you are one of the guys who are convinced that every girl who tells you that she has no time is lying in your face. There was a time when I also believed that this was nothing but an excuse to get rid of me, so that she could jump in bed with some random bad boy.
It took me a while to realize that interesting women tend to have a busy and interesting lifestyle. When a girl tells you that she has no time on Tuesday, because she has to go to her yoga lesson, she might just tell the truth.
Don’t assume a conspiracy whenever a girl says something that you don’t want to hear.
A self-confident man who doesn’t have the problem of being too attached to women has better things to do than to be offended when a girl tells him that she has no time to meet.
6. You Would Do Everything for Her
A classic sign that you are way too attached to a girl is that you would do everything for her. In case you are currently in a relationship or at the beginning of one and the following scenarios look familiar to you, you are not only attached, but also screwed if you stay in this relationship.
Your girlfriend has a night out with her friends and goes to a club. You don’t go because you have to work the next day. However, you pick her up in the middle of the night, even though she is very rude to you when she calls you totally drunk.
You just want to go out and have some cheap fast food but the girl you are with wants to go to this fancy restaurant. You hate such places but because you want to get lucky this night, you take her there and you even pick up the bill.
You are about to meet an old friend who you haven’t seen for more than one year. Suddenly your girlfriend starts to complain why you meet your friend instead of spending the evening with her. You cancel the appointment with your good friend by fobbing him off with some stupid excuse.
If only one of these three scenarios looks familiar to you, you are definitely too attached to her.
Believe me, this behaviour is a soul-sucking one way street.
Stop doing everything for a girl who doesn’t do anything for you.
7. You Call it a “Relationship” Before You Had Sex
The last thing that proves that your honest answer to “am I too attached to her?” is definitely yes is when you talk about being in a relationship, before you even had sex with her.
I don’t know which idiot was the first one who came up with the idea to call something non-sexual between men and women a relationship.
However, I know quite a few men, including myself, who have done this crucial mistake at some point of their lives.
Please give me one good reason why you should enter a monogamous relationship that implicates sexual exclusivity, without even having sex and without knowing whether or not you and your “girlfriend” are a good team in the bedroom?
“Am I too attached to her when I tell her that we are in a relationship before we had sex?”
Yes, you are!
In case you are in such a “relationship” right now, you might want to ask yourself if you are in this relationship because you truly want it, or because you are scared as hell that you will end up alone. If you are honest to yourself, you know the answer.
What? You still haven’t had sex with her?
God, get my book already!
Summed Up Wisdom
“Am I too attached to her?”
One clear sign that you are too attached to her is that you text her all the freaking time. A self-confident man doesn’t need constant validation through text messages. Another thing that scares every woman away is when you want to be in a relationship with her right after you met her.
In case you can’t concentrate on anything else than the girl you just met, you are not only attached, you are probably also living a really boring life. Just because your phone rings, doesn’t mean that you should run as fast as you can and just because it’s your mother on the other line doesn’t mean that you have to throw your phone against the wall while screaming like a little baby.
Are you offended when she has no time for you? Do you think that she is just making up excuses when she tells you that she goes to a yoga class? Then think about why you feel this way. Guess what, it has nothing to do with her.
If you would do everything for a girl who doesn’t give a beep about you, you can be sure that you have some kind of attachment disorder. Once you have accepted the fact that you are too attached to her, you have to take the next step and break up with your girlfriend who hasn’t touched you for the last three months and certainly won’t do it until the end of this year. This thing that you have has never deserved to be called a relationship.
Sebastian Harris says
I’m glad you agree.
Good advice. A woman will be in love with you one day and 2 weeks later she takes off with someone else. Save your love and affection for friends, pets and family members who will stick around.
Asian women are quite loyal but many American women are here today, gone tommorrow.