Two days ago I had a mental breakdown.
I spent the last couple of days working on a project on this site that will soon be released
I was working all day and all night to write the content for the emails, to record the podcasts and to set up the autoresponder. I had never done this before and even though the challenge to set everything up till the deadline that I gave myself was extremely fun, it was also quite exhausting.
Yesterday I had finally set up everything and changed every little detail on my site to make it suitable for my plans. Right after I finished this big project, I had the idea to install another plugin that promised to allow a better promotion of this free course.
This was a big mistake.
I bought the plugin, I copied the code in my theme and what happened next left me so paralyzed that I couldn’t breathe for nearly a minute. The only thing I could hear was my heartbeat that got faster and faster.
Everything was white and I don’t mean this in a racist way.
When I typed in my domain, I saw nothing but a white screen. When I tried to access my admin panel, I saw nothing but a white screen. In the internet world this is called the white screen of death.
I really felt how death was upon me.
But why do I even tell you this?
Well, I don’t want to share this experience with you because I want to give you a reason to make fun of me. The true reason why I decided to share this horrifying experience with you is because the way I reacted and the action steps that I took to solve the problem can be directly referred to dating and seduction.
I am 100% sure that you made the same mistakes that I made yesterday in your interactions with women. A website and a woman are not that different, especially when you love them and you don’t want to live without them.
1. I Overreacted
The first mistake that I made was to overreact. I not only overreacted a little bit, I went completely nuts. I stared at the white screen, my knees started to shake, my hands started to shake and I really thought that I had to get myself a plastic bag in case I would hyperventilate.
In the same way as some guys overreacted when a woman they love tells them that something with their relationship is not right, I overreacted when my beloved website told me that our relationship has a problem that needs to be fixed.
In the first few seconds I didn’t even know what to do. I was completely helpless. I never had this problem before and in the first moment I really thought that I destroyed over half a year of dedicated work with just one mouse click.
It might sound funny to you, but I really love my website so much. And I’m even more proud of my book Rise of the Phoenix even more.
It is my baby and I want to see it grow, not die.
1. What it Teaches You About Seduction: Don’t Panic!
What does my completely stupid way of reacting to this problem teach you about seducing women?
More than you think.
I overreacted because something didn’t work the way I wanted it. I panicked because what I did didn’t lead to the desired outcome. I felt helpless, because I was faced with a situation that I had never experienced before.
In case you don’t see the parallel to attracting and seducing women you are blind.
What do most guys do when they approach a smoking hot girl and she rejects them?
They overreact. They think about one million reasons why this particular girl wasn’t interested in them. They dwell so much in this negative experience that it drives them crazy up to the point where they want to give up.
What do most guys do when they are faced with a situation in a relationship that they have never experienced before?
They feel helpless. The chance that a guy who doesn’t have a lot of relationship experience freaks out as soon as he is faced with the first argument is extremely high. This helplessness then leads to all kind of negative behavior, such as aggression or neediness, which ends the relationship even faster.
Whenever you are faced with an obstacle that seems to be impossible to overcome, no matter if you just met a woman or if you are together with her for two years, you have to follow one rule:
Instead of freaking out or making rash decisions that you’ll regret later, you should accept the problem, take a deep breath and start to solve it with patience. If I had done that, my blood pressure would have been a lot lower.
2. I Doubted Myself
The next thing I did after my heartrate went back to a speed that allowed me to breathe normally was to blame myself for what happened. Even though I knew that I want to turn the Global Seducer brand into an empire over the course of the next years, a little voice in my head tuned in and said things like…
“You can’t even install a plugin without destroying your website. How do YOU want to succeed at this?”
“You can’t code and you can’t even fix your own website. You will fail.”
I knew that it was totally irrational, but my inner voice didn’t even think about shutting up. The minute this bastard was taking over the leadership in my brain, I started to doubt myself and the journey I am on.
The only reason why those voices didn’t drive me completely nuts was because I learned to deal with them (you’ll also learn that in your email bootcamp).
2. What it Teaches You About Seduction: Believe in Yourself
I am sure that those annoying voices in your head are very familiar to you. Maybe they talk to you whenever you are too paralyzed to approach a beautiful woman who walks past you. Maybe you hear them talking to you whenever your approach ends with a “sorry, but I have a boyfriend”. Maybe you hear them whenever your girlfriend doesn’t behave in a way that gives you the feeling to be loved.
“She is way out of my league. I will never be able to attract a woman like her.”
“She just said that she has a boyfriend, because she doesn’t want to tell me that I am too ugly for her.”
“My girlfriend is in a bad mood today. Maybe she is cheating on me. Maybe I just don’t deserve a woman like her.”
I am pretty sure that at least one of those sentences sound familiar to you.
In the same way as I doubted myself as a website administrator when my website crashed, a lot of guys doubt themselves as a seducer as soon as one attempted seduction ends in a complete trainwreck.
The only reason why I continue to work on my life purpose with a functioning website and why all my fellow successful seducers out there continue to seduce one beautiful woman after another, even though Amy Winter from their college class told them to fuck off, is because we learned to deal with our self-doubt.
We learned to accept our self-doubt, to rethink the voices in our head and to believe in ourselves.
You can do the same.
3. I Tried to Fix the Problem
After I was able to quiet my inner voice I tried to fix the mistake. On the one hand, I was completely terrified that everything I did from now on would make it even worse but on the other hand, I was determined to fix the problem ASAP.
I asked mother Google, I read every forum post that I could find to this topic and I even tried to fix the problem by logging into my WordPress Account in really strange ways that I didn’t even know exist.
I tried everything I could to solve the problem and the more I read, the more I understood the root of the problem.
3. What it Teaches you About Seduction: Work on Your Sticking Points
I had no idea what an FTP server is, I had no idea how I could login to my WordPress Account without using the admin panel and I had absolutely no clue how I could possibly fix this mistake.
Somehow this whole situation reminded me of the time when I first started to read about the art of seduction. I had no idea that it was actually possible to learn how to seduce women, I had no idea how I could seduce women without becoming the jerk or asshole that I never wanted to be and I had absolutely no clue how I could possibly put everything that I read into practice.
The more I read about my website problem and the more I tried to solve it, the more I understood what was going on and the more qualified I became to make it work.
It’s the same with you and women.
The more you read about the art of seduction and the more you try to work on your sticking points, the more you’ll understand the subtleties and the unwritten laws of seducing women.
Keep on reading, keep on learning, keep on working on yourself and keep on winning.
4. I Asked Other People for Help
As I continued to try to fix the problem on my own I realized that I needed some help. I am confident that I would have been able to fix my website without any external help, but this would have cost me a lot more time and you wouldn’t be able to read this article now.
Eventually, I contacted the support hotline from my host company and after two emails they were able to fix the problem. Thanks to their expertise and their experience in solving those kinds of issues, they were able to fix my site within less than an hour.
You can’t even imagine how happy I was when I found out that my beloved baby survived the operation.
4. What it Teaches You About Seduction: Ask People Who Have Done What You Want to Do
Analyzing your current skill level and working on your sticking points is an essential part of improving yourself. However, sometimes it is more intelligent to ask people for help than to walk the path alone. Swallowing your pride and asking somebody for help can save you a lot of time, trouble and in some cases it can even prevent a stress-related stroke.
The tricky thing about asking someone else for help is that it can skyrocket your learning curve when you ask the right person and it can destroy all the progress you made when you ask the wrong person.
When I first decided to improve my dating life I asked all the wrong people for advice. I asked my parents who have both never slept with anyone else outside their marriage (even though I highly doubt it), I asked my friends who were in the same situation as I was and I asked so-called naturals who had success with women, but who weren’t able to explain why.
That was the advice that I got:
“Just be polite and nice to her.”
“You can’t learn that. Don’t even try.”
“Just be yourself. It’s so easy.”
The process of deleting all this bullshit from my hard drive took me way longer than learning how to do it right from scratch.
Today I am glad that I stopped asking people for help who have never done what I intended to do and that I asked people for help who have obviously achieved the level of success with women that I wanted to achieve.
All I want to say is that it might be better to read my articles, my book and to shoot me an email when you have a question that you don’t know the answer to, than to ask your best friend who is still a virgin.
5. I Made a Mistake
I have to admit it. I made a mistake and I hope that god, you and my dog will forgive me for my imperfection.
I copied the code from the plugin in a wrong document, even though the installation guide of the plugin said so. Screw the plugin developers and screw my naïve brain for not realizing that what I was doing was very, very stupid.
Yes, it is official. Sebastian Harris makes mistakes. I am not perfect, I am not savvy when it comes to coding and it was my fault that all the people who clicked on my website yesterday saw nothing but a white screen.
The shocking truth is that coding is not the only area in my life where I made one or two mistakes…
5. What it Teaches You About Seduction: Learn from Your Mistakes
I was five years old when I learned to ride the bicycle and one of the mistakes I made back then resulted in a little scar under my nose that I still carry with me. However, I didn’t give up and eventually I became very good at riding the bicycle…until I made my driver’s license.
I was over twenty years old when I started to learn how to seduce women and more than one of the mistakes I made back then resulted in sleepless nights, self-doubt and one or two tears of sorrow. However, I didn’t give up and eventually I became very good at riding women…until I broke my penis.
Nah, just kidding…
I didn’t break my penis, but what I said about not giving up is true.
What distinguishes me and you from the guys who continue to complain about their frustrating love life until the day they die, is that we are willing to make mistakes, to learn from them and to not make the same mistake twice.
I can’t promise that I won’t crash my site again, but I promise that it won’t happen through the same plugin. You can’t promise that you won’t ever get rejected again, but you can promise yourself that you won’t get rejected because of the same stupid indirect opener you read in The Game.
We all make mistakes, but unfortunately not everyone is willing to see his mistakes as an opportunity to grow and to learn.
6. I Was More Determined than Ever
This whole process of freaking out, calming myself down, trying to do everything that is in my power to fix the problem and eventually looking at my website in all its glory taught me a very valuable lesson.
It reminded me of something that I already knew. It showed me that Global Seducer is my baby and that I felt like a fish without water if somebody would take it away from me.
The moment my website crashed, I crashed.
The thought of living without the project that means the world to me killed me. The thought of not fulfilling my purpose and of not being able to help you to succeed with women sucked my life energy out of me. I realized that I needed this website and the impact that it hopefully has on you.
This exhausting experience made me even more determined to work on this site and to improve it every single day, step by step.
6. What it Teaches You About Seduction: Stay Hungry
Are you also determined to work on yourself and to become better every single day?
In case you are not, you should close this article right now.
If you don’t have the determination, the willingness and the dedication to become better every single day, you will never reach a level of mastery.
Reading and learning is the first step, putting the things you learned into practice is the second step and not giving up when it gets tough is the last determining step that too many guys never reach.
Arnold Schwarzenegger has one great line that sums up what I just told you:
You can’t climb the ladder of success with your hands in your pockets!
Are you hungry enough to take your hands out of your pockets and to embrace the ladder of success?
Summed Up Wisdom
I am not particularly proud of it, but I had a mental breakdown. It taught me a lot about my path as a website owner and your path as a Global Seducer. It taught me that no matter what obstacle you have to face – don’t panic, don’t overreact and don’t even think about giving up.
Sometimes you will doubt yourself. These are the moments where you have to learn to deal with your inner voices and to start believing in yourself. Work on your sticking points and don’t be ashamed to ask people for help. Just make sure that you ask the right people.
Be willing to make mistakes and be willing to analyze your actions and to learn from your failures. No matter how many mistakes you make, stay hungry, stay focused and stay determined to do whatever it takes to succeed.
Sebastian Harris says
I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought
this post was great. I don’t know who you are but definitely you are going to become a famous blogger
if you aren’t already 😉 Cheers!
Sebastian Harris says
Thanks for your great feedback and your support!
P.S: I read the 2 hour workweek 😉
I’m sorry to read that 🙁 i understand that you consider this website as your baby, it’s very unique, and i’m absolutly sure it’s going to become a major part of the seduction community, one of the leading websites. As investor and trader, if it was a start-up, i would invest in it without any doubts. Also, on a business point of view, it makes sens to outsource some technincal work, to allow you to focus your energy on what you do the best and what makes you the most money (creating new products or doing coaching for example). You should read the 4 hours week from Tim Ferris.
Emotional stability is, in my opinion, what makes a real man. That’s why women test us so much with iritating or passive behaviours, they want to see if we stay calm and strong, and at the end, if we are confident (of course that’s not necessary a conscious process). Genetics play a big part in dictating once psychology, so on an evolutionary point of view that’s important for a woman to figure out if a guy is mentally strong, because she wants her children to have more chance to be secure and have good genes (that’s also mainly incouscious).
” I am the master of my fate,
I am the captain of my soul. ”
Invictus, William Ernest Henley