My hands and knees are shaking and I really don’t know if I’ll be able to write the first paragraph of this article.
When I think about the terrible, brutal and frightening species that I am going to dedicate the following lines to, my blood freezes and my eyes look around the room as if Frankenstein’s Monster and Chucky the Doll hid in the closet.
I don’t even dare to pronounce the name of this creature. Yes, they are people, but for some men they are so much more than that. For some men they are the reason for anxiety attacks, attacks of sweating and uncontrollable speech impediments.
They are so terrible that I can only pronounce their name letter for letter. I try my best without getting a mental breakdown:
The shocking truth is that there are thousands of men out there for whom standing in front of a woman is scarier than saying “hi” to a Tarantula.
When you think about the fear of women on a logical level it makes absolutely no sense.
You are afraid of a human being who is weaker than you, who is smaller than you and who you are biologically programmed to have sex with and to raise children with. Unfortunately, a lot of men are afraid of women and as a result they don’t talk to them, they don’t sleep with them and they don’t think that they can ever end up in a relationship with them.
I mean, you don’t want to share your bed and your life with someone you are afraid of. Due to the fact that I have the vision to transform your dating and sex life into an unforgettable adventure, it is an honor to provide you with a practical steps that have the power to eliminate your fear of women once and for all.
Why You are Afraid of Women
What does it mean to be afraid of women?
A man who is afraid of women is usually afraid of talking to them, of touching them and sometimes even of looking at them. The medical expression for this fear is gynophobia. In its extreme form it can even come to a state where you start to hate women, because you are so frustrated and so desperate that you can’t interact with them.
That’s the last thing I want for you.
As an aspiring Global Seducer you are destined to love women, to enjoy their company and to share your bed and your life with them.
That’s exactly why I want to help you to overcome your fear of women.
But why are you even afraid of them in the first place?
Well, this can have a lot of different reasons. Some leading psychologists say that most men who are afraid of women had one particular negative experience when they were very young, that haunted them their whole life. Others say that unsolved mother issues are the number one cause.
Besides those theories, I also believe that social conditioning and our society has a major influence on this irrational fear. What’s even more important than the question “what do I think about the cause?” is “how can I help you to overcome this fear?”
Practical Steps to Eliminate Your Fear of Women
Overcoming this anxiety disorder is a bit more difficult than overcoming your approach anxiety. When you are “only” afraid of approaching women, you are usually not afraid of being in a room with them.
When I think back to the days where I had zero success with women, I can remember a few incidents that showed that I had a very light form of gynophobia. It wasn’t that bad that I started to sweat when I thought of meeting a woman, but I remember a few situations where I was too afraid to look a woman into the eyes while I was talking to her.
I even remember one particular night in which one of my friends forced me to talk to a girl and I only stood there sweating and shaking.
How did a guy like me, who started sweating and shaking while he stands in front of women turn into a man, who is able to love, respect and especially seduce women without feeling anxious?
I followed the following steps and erased my fear of women once and for all.
Well, the only thing I didn’t do was to face my mother issues, because I am 100% sure that she couldn’t be the reason for it…love you mum 😉
Maybe your mother is different and that’s exactly what YOU have to do…
1. Accept Your Fear of Women
What’s the first step you have to take to overcome every fear?
Accept that it exists.
It makes no sense to deny that you are afraid of women when you get a hard attack whenever you are forced to sit next to a girl in your college class, or when you have to speak with the cute cashier in the supermarket.
If the thought of being around women scares the shit out of you, you definitely have a problem that you should work on. Denying this anxiety and talking yourself into believing that everything is okay and that you could have every woman if you would want, won’t help you.
Neither you nor I believe you. Accepting that you have an issue is the first step towards solving it. You will never even try to overcome your fear of women, if you deny that it exists. As a result of that you will never experience how fulfilling it is to interact with women without feeling any negative emotions.
2. Dig For the Causes
Maybe you are afraid of women, because there was one girl in your high school who always made fun of you. Maybe you had a bad experience in college where a short-haired feminist slapped you in the face and screamed “rape”, because you dared to talk to her.
No matter what the true reason for your anxiety is, make sure that you find it. Spend some time with yourself, turn off the TV and start to dig around in the past. If you think meditation could help you to solve this mystery, you should try it.
Do whatever is necessary to find the cause.
It might take you a while, but eventually you’ll find the particular incident in your memory, that is responsible for a life of fear. When I looked at my past experiences I also remembered one particular situation in which I experienced fear of women for the first time.
As a teenager I was so shy and insecure that I wrote a love letter via e-mail to girls in my class, just to say afterwards that a friend of mine sent them. I did this with a few girls in the hope that one of them would reply. Yes, I was that hopeless.
Eventually, one of the girls of my class confronted me with my desperate attempt to get her attention in front of a few other pupils. I was so embarrassed and all I could think of was to never reveal my feelings to a woman again. That was the day when I said “hello” to the fear of women.
Once you found the reason for your fear, you know what you have to work on and you can take the necessary steps to solve this problem.
3. Solve Your Mother Issues
I know that I don’t have any severe mother issues, because I can confidently say that I have a very healthy relationship with my mother. However, leading psychologists say that the number one reason for fear of women is a broken relationship with your mother.
Maybe your mother hit you when you were a child and now your subconscious mind screams “danger zone!” whenever you are near a woman. Maybe your mother verbally abused you by telling you over and over again that you are a failure.
Find out if you have some mother issues and solve them, even if that means talking to your mother until you both cry.
Be open about your problem and tell her that you need this conversation. If she starts to scream at you and refuses to talk with you, you know that mother issues are the cause.
4. Stop Generalizing Mainstream Beliefs
What are women according to the mainstream media?
Well, if you believe news channels, they are strong, independent and career-oriented machines who refuse to accept the fact that they have a vagina.
If you, however, believe music videos and a lot of TV shows you get the impression that all women are money-hungry bitches who are stupid as shit and who can’t even walk a straight line without the help of Google maps.
Are you ready for the truth?
Neither Kim Kardashian nor some (fe)male CEO is the perfect female role model!
Whenever you see something on television it is very tempting to generalize it and to assume that ALL women are like that.
Of course you are afraid to date women if you believe that ALL women are ignorant, bitchy and superficial. In the same way you are probably afraid of women if you believe that ALL women strive for power, influence and dominance.
Always remember that the stuff that you see on television only represents a tiny percentage of the female population. Yes, there are money-hungry women and there are also power-crazed chicks, but there are also millions of friendly, intelligent and feminine women who you don’t have to be afraid of.
5. Stop Idealizing Women
Women are perfect, right?
I mean, look at their flawless bodies, their amazing breasts, their wonderful asses and their soft skin. If you would ever be able to meet, to kiss and to touch such a goddess, such an angel, you would be the happiest person on earth. It’s really too bad that you are afraid of them.
One reason why I was so afraid of women was because I idealized them. I put them on a pedestal that was higher than the Mount Everest. In case you have the same problem, you have to take a run and push them from that pedestal.
You don’t do yourself a favor by idealizing women. The whole thing is comparable to a fan of a celebrity. Thanks to the fact that he idealizes this person so much, he would start to sweat, to shake and to stutter if he would ever meet him in person. It’s the same with you and women.
I know it’s shocking, but the truth is that women are normal human beings.
They are not the perfect, flawless and confident creatures that you see on magazine covers or on TV. The girls on covers are retouched and the girls on TV are actresses who play a role. Real girls have real flaws and real problems.
Women are far from perfect. They have fears and insecurities. They cry, they get angry and sometimes they even do some really disgusting stuff.
6. Think about the Disgusting Things Women Do
One thing that helped me immensely when I tried to overcome my fear of women was to imagine all the disgusting things that a beautiful woman does every day.
Are you ready to destroy the beautified image you had and to replace it with the disgusting truth?
I promise that all these perfect models and actresses appear less frightening when you remind yourself of the fact that they do the same things as you do.
No matter how beautiful a girl is, the first thing that she does every morning is to take a shit.
I know, it’s disgusting, but it is true. Women shit, they piss and they fart. They pick their nose, they wipe their ass (hopefully) and they burp when nobody sees it.
In the short run this knowledge might destroy your sex drive, but in the long-run it has the power to eliminate your fear of women.
Can you really be afraid of a person who shits a bigger pile than you?
7. Search for Good Female Role Models
Another great way to overcome your fear of women is to search for good female role models. Look out for women who fulfill certain criteria that make them less frightening than a Kim Kardashian clone who starts to scream when you don’t buy her a Bugatti.
I personally believe that the television is the worst place where you can find such girls. Clubs are also not that good. Instead of observing superficial rich girls and psychologically damaged party chicks, you should have a look at your social circle.
Look for girls who could be good female role models, even if it’s the sister of your best friend’s girlfriend. The goal of this exercise is not to find a woman you can date, but to find one who takes away your fear of women by showing you how nice, friendly and normal women can be.
8. Pornstars Can be Intimidating
Porn is not the best medicine to cure your fear of women. On the website Your Brain on Porn there are a lot of reports from guys who claim that they overcame their social anxiety after they stopped watching porn. I believe that social anxiety is not the only form of anxiety that can be triggered by porn consumption.
What do you see in porn movies?
You see perfect women, with perfect fake boobs and with perfectly bleached assholes. Yes, those girls even bleach their assholes. There is nothing real about them.
Don’t believe me?
Do you remember how I said that idealizing women and putting them on a pedestal is not the right way to deal with your fear of women?
That’s exactly what you do by watching perfect pornstars with bleached assholes.
Oh, and there is another thing about porn. It’s hard to explain but somehow I became more and more anxious around women, the more porn I watched. This anxiety was different than social anxiety. I got really uncomfortable in the presence of women and whenever I looked them in the eyes I felt ashamed.
Let me know in the comments below if you had a similar experience.
9. Come At Peace with Nature
When I tried to overcome my fear of women I tried to reconnect myself with nature. In other words, I reclaimed my masculinity.
I thought about how weird and sick it is that I am afraid of the human beings who I am supposed to fuck, to love and to raise a family with.
I already said it in the beginning of this article:
It is completely senseless to be afraid of someone who you are supposed to spend your life with.
Maybe it is helpful for you if you try to convince yourself from the stupidity of your fear.
10. Work on Your Confidence
One thing that will definitely help you to get over your anxiety is to work on your confidence. Your self-confidence not only plays an important part in EVERY aspect of dating, it is also a basic requirement for a life without fear.
While being confident doesn’t automatically erase your fear of women, especially when this fear is caused by traumatic experiences, it can definitely improve your condition.
A guy who has zero self-confidence and who freaks out whenever he has to talk to someone, won’t be able to talk to women. A guy who is self-confident and who is able to talk to people will have it a lot easier to take the next step and to talk to girls.
11. Develop a Genuine Interest in Women
I read over and over again that gynophobia can easily turn into misogyny.
In case you have seen Batman Begins you have heard the famous line “you always fear what you don’t understand”.
You will always be afraid of women, if you never learn to understand them.
What happens when you don’t try to understand women? You will believe everything that other people tell you about them, even if it’s your television who tries to convince you that they are all dumb gold digging whores.
What can you do to understand women and to overcome your anxiety? Develop a genuine interest in women. Study female psychology, find out what they like and understand what they think and why they think it.
This website can definitely help you on your quest, but there are more resources that you can tap.
Read a woman’s magazine, read some good sex blogs from women (they are rare but the do exist). I even went so far that I read 50 Shades of Grey. This book is boring as fuck, but it contributed to my understanding of women.
12. Practice Your Communication Skills
You not only fear what you don’t understand, you also fear who you can’t talk to.
If you know that you are stuttering, that you run out of things to say and that you are starting to sweat whenever somebody asks you an uncomfortable question, you don’t have to wonder why you are nearly dying whenever you are in a situation, in which a woman could talk to you.
I would also be afraid of women if I knew that I can’t say anything else than “umm…I…umm”. Thank god I know that this will never happen. I invested a lot of time in practicing my communication skills.
What did you do in the last couple of weeks to practice your communication skills?
Screaming at your laptop, because Pornhub didn’t load fast enough doesn’t count.
What you should do instead is to talk to people or to yourself. In my experience talking to female relatives or friends that you are not afraid of (I hope you don’t shit your pants whenever you see your sister), or standing in front of the mirror and pretending to talk to a girl, are the best ways to practice your communication skills.
I know that it sounds weird and slightly schizophrenic to talk to yourself in the mirror, but if you take this role play seriously, you can have great success with that. You do mothing else than a professional athlete who plays the match in his head before he steps on the field.
13. Surround Yourself with Women
What do most guys who are afraid of women do?
They try to avoid them at all cost.
As a result of that they completely unlearn how to act around women and their anxiety gets worse and worse.
What should you do if you are afraid of women? You should surround yourself with women, as scary as it might be. I don’t expect you to go in a room full of women and to immediately start a conversation with all of them. Start slowly.
As a first step you can surround yourself with women without talking to them. Go to shopping malls, to art exhibitions and to other places where you’ll find a lot of women. The more you do this, the more comfortable you’ll get in their presence.
Eventually, you’ll come to a point where you are so used to being surrounded by women, that the barriers to talk to them are not that high anymore.
14. Visit a Brothel
Are you ready for an extreme form of surrounding yourself with women?
The following exercise is not for beginners, but it was exactly what I needed to get rid of my anxieties. One of the best confrontation therapies to heal your fear of women is to visit a brothel.
As weird as it sounds, but the goal of this trip is NOT to have sex.
The goal is to surround yourself with beautiful naked girls who want to talk to you and to become comfortable with that. Look for a brothel that allows you to walk around all day long and to talk to one girl after another. In Germany we call them FKK club.
I nearly died when the first prostitute sat next to me and started to whisper “do you want to have sex with me?” in my ear. After the third girl came up to me I felt more confident around women than ever before.
You can click here to read more about this unusual technique and my experience with it.
15. Have Normal Conversations with Women
Once you are comfortable in places where you are surrounded by women it is time for the next step. Take your courage in both hands and walk up to a girl. She doesn’t have to be the prettiest one and she doesn’t have to be as tall as Heidi Klum. Look for a girl who looks friendly and open.
Just walk up to her and ask her some really simple question.
Ask her if she knows where the nearest post office is, or if she knows when the place you are at closes. Don’t worry about flirting with her. The first hurdle you have to overcome is to walk up to a girl and to talk to her.
If you feel confident enough to continue the conversation, you can of course do that. If you start to sweat as soon as she looks at you, you can end the conversation after she answered your question. Do this a couple of times and you’ll see that your fear of women will decrease.
16. Give Compliments to Women
In the next step you can increase the difficulty level. You have talked to a lot of girls and you have realized that the reward for asking a girl a simple question is a smile and an answer.
Now it’s time to make a couple of girls happy with some honest compliments.
Inhale, exhale and tell the next cute girl you see that you think that she is beautiful. Your knees might shiver and you might sound like goofy on drugs. Force through it and make her smile. You’ll see how happy women are when someone gives them an honest compliment.
The more you do this, the more you’ll get the feeling that the nice and friendly women you meet have nothing in common with the crazy bitches that you see on TV.
17. Learn to Deal with Rejection
What is the worst thing that can happen if you push through your fear and give a girl a compliment?
The worst thing that can happen is that she rejects you.
OH MY GOD!
A couple of years ago my fear of rejection was one major reason for my fear of women. I strongly believe that those two fears are linked to each other. I was so scared that a woman rejects me, that I avoided every conversation with girls, which made my fear of women even worse. In my mind I designed horror scenarios of what could happen, when I talk to a girl. Of course I was scared as fuck whenever I was forced to talk to women.
Eventually, I decided to rethink my beliefs about rejection and to redefine what rejection means to me.
As a result of this mindset shift, I was less afraid of women and of interacting with them.
Click here if you want to make the same mindset shift.
18. Focus Your Energy on the Emotionally Healthy Girls
One last thing to curing your fear by giving girls compliments…
Sometimes you get rejected in a nice way, but occasionally you also get rejected in a way that is anything but nice.
That’s not a reason to shit your pants.
The truth is that there are some girls that are miserable, frustrated, depressed and who show you how much they hate the world by rejecting you in a nasty way. It is important that you don’t take those girls seriously. Let other guys date those girls and focus all your energy on the ones who are good for you.
I know a guy who developed a crippling fear of women, just because he always approached drunk party girls in clubs. If you focus all your energy on girls who have obvious psychological disorders, you don’t have to wonder why you are getting anxious around women.
After approaching the tenth drunk girl who tells me to fuck off I would also start to ask myself if all women are evil creatures. Instead of wasting your time in clubs you should think about going to parks and bookstores. There you’ll find friendly and nice girls that are the living proof that women are amazing.
How would you feel if you had a hot (and emotionally healthy) girlfriend?
Let me show you how to get her (in chapter 5)
Summed Up Wisdom
Why are you afraid of women? Maybe you had a traumatic experience when you were young. Maybe you just believe all the crap that you see on TV. The first things you can do to get rid of this irrational anxiety is to accept it, to dig for the causes and to solve some mommy issues if you have to.
After you have done that you can go over to the second phase. Stop believing everything that you see on television and pushing girls from the pedestal you built for them. Thinking about how a hot girl takes a shit can help. Look out for some good female role models and accept the fact that watching porn is not the best idea if you are afraid of women.
You can even try to solve the problem on a logical level by reminding yourself that Mother Nature wants you to walk up to girls. Don’t forget to work on your inner game in order to increase your confidence and to learn how to deal with rejection. After you have developed a genuine interest in women and practiced your communication skills it’s time to surround yourself with women. You can even do this by visiting a brothel.
Once you are confident around girls it’s time for the next phase. Start to talk to girls and once you are comfortable with that, you can try to give compliments to women. Let other guys date all the broken girls and focus on the nice and friendly ones. This will eliminate your fear of women faster than you can say “um…I…um”.
Sebastian Harris says
sometimes you have to force through it!
my main issue is simply approaching women. being around them doesn’t scare me. but the idea of walking up to a woman and starting a conversation terrifies me. i’m gonna force myself to do this at the gym, though. the hardest part is the ice-breaker. once i get past that, i’m able to relax a lot more.
this is a great list though man. i’ll take these things into consideration
it’s not just rejection, a lot of guys out there unfortuneately get thrown the creep label, a lot of guys accidentally come across as creepy to women even though these men wouldn’t mean any harm towards them, and they have no idea what they are doing wrong, no idea what makes them creepy.
That can seem like a huge injustice because it’s literally impossible for a woman to come across as creepy to a guy, but thats not the case the other way around.
Sebastian Harris says
thank you so much for your feedback. I am so glad that my writing helps you and yes, I really want to help people like you. There was a time when I have been in the same situation.
Wow, just wow. The more I read your stuff, the more I realize who I am. Please keep writing these articles. They’re lifesavers. You’re so much better and clearer than all those other so-called pick-up artists with egos from here to the moon. I’ve just read a few articles and already I’ve learned more about women than my whole life combined. The best thing, it’s all for free. Can I ask you a question? Why? Why do you do this for free? It’s like you’re one of those people that actually sincerely want to help other people better their lives without asking for money in return. That’s pretty awesome.
Sebastian Harris says
thanks man. I won’t stop 😉
Sebastian Harris says
thanks for your comment. Glad that you ask, I actually wrote an article about attracting older women. You can read it here: https://www.globalseducer.com/how-to-attract-older-women/
Nice article bro… But then I have a problem communicating with older girls, ladies, women e.t.c… I mostly don’t knw wat to say at first wen I approach… Sometimes it even gets as bad as me greeting them like a naive kid and walking away… If you hav an article on this I’ll gladly love to read it but if u don’t I’ll be glad if you could include it in your next article…