16 Signs She is Playing You (The Painful Truth)

What are the signs she is playing you?

I’ve been there and it hurts. There’s this one girl and you’re totally into her. You would do anything to make her your girlfriend. Heck, maybe you’re already in a relationship. But she treats you like a piece of shit.

She eats you alive, poops you out and flushes you down the toilet.

I’ve been there. Some of you might know me as the world-traveling seducer, the player. But that wasn’t always the case. There was a time when I was the one who got played and it happened over and over again.

It’s a painful realization.

You put your heart and your soul into a relationship or into creating one. You want it to move in a certain direction but every time you take a step forward she takes one step back. Let’s face it. You’re already torturing yourself way too long.

Here’s what you need to do right now:

Reading my book Rise of the Phoenix will help you with the latter.

The following paragraphs pave the path for the first step…

How Do You Know a Girl is Playing You? 16 Painful Answers  

Quick story…

One of my recent coaching clients had this problem. He was trapped in a relationship for almost two years before he decided to book a coaching with me. Or let’s say he thought he was together with this woman.

She played him from day one.

I helped him to rebuild his life, his confidence, and his manliness.

But let’s face it. The two years are gone. He won’t get them back. I hope you realize it sooner than my coaching client. That’s why I decided to share the following 16 signs with you.   

You deserve to know the truth, even though the truth hurts more than the lie you’re living…

1. She Cancels Right Before the Date 

Here’s how to tell if a girl is playing you:

She doesn’t show up.

Imagine you approach a girl, get her number, and set up a date. What am I talking about? I’m sure you don’t even have to imagine that. You wouldn’t be here if there wasn’t one particular woman you are dating or want to date.

Does the following scenario sound familiar?

If it happens once and she has a really good reason, you can reschedule the date. Life happens. I’m sure the picture she sends from her and her mom in the hospital is not fake.

What if it happens more than once?

Then she’s playing you.

2. She Brings Friends to Every Date  

This is an obvious sign…unless she’s Asian.

If you’re going on a date in Thailand, Vietnam or Cambodia, she might show up with her friend. For me personally, it is a no-go, but it happens. It’s a common thing in Asia.

The ladies in traditional countries do it to feel safer.

What if she’s American?

I don’t care if she’s American, British, German, French or from any other Western country. A girl who was born and raised in a Western country doesn’t do it because it’s part of her culture. She does it because she’s playing you.

That’s what’s going on.

3. She Constantly Checks Her Phone  

What if she shows up alone?

Congratulations! That’s a sign she likes you.  She’s definitely into you. That’s why she asks you all kinds of questions and listens to every word you say. She is 100% focused on the conversation. That’s how much she wants you.

What did you say? She plays with her smartphone all the time?”

Dude, she’s playing you!

I know. It’s hard to compete with those flashing and peeping monsters. But let’s face it. If a woman considers a cat video or a WhatsApp message more important than a conversation with her potential boyfriend, she’s not serious.

Don’t waste your time with a woman who wastes your time.  

She deserves to be alone with her smartphone.

4. You Give but Nothing Comes Back

This is extremely painful.

I think we’ve all been there. There was a time when I was so needy and so insecure that I did everything for a woman, as long as she was beautiful and talked to me. Yep, that’s how pathetic I was.

Here are some of the things I did:

What if you stop treating her like royalty?

Uhhh…now it’s getting dangerous. Now her mask falls off. That’s when you can see that she has been playing you all the time. I don’t say that this moment feels good. It doesn’t. It hurts like hell.

But it’s a gift from heaven and our friend Gordon knows that.

Now you know the truth and you can finally move on…

6. She Uses You But Doesn’t Reward You 

Here’s how a healthy relationship looks like:

Your girlfriend is sick and you run to the pharmacy to buy her medicine. She’s so thankful. The next time you are sick she does the same for you.

You’re a happy man.

One week later, she’s on her period. She feels awful. You buy her a snack and a box of chocolate. She’s so thankful that she makes it up to you the next day when she’s not bleeding anymore.

Here’s how to tell if she’s playing you:

She doesn’t buy you medicine and you don’t see her naked.

A healthy relationship is about giving support and receiving support. It’s about being there for each other and not just being there for yourself. Don’t let her use you. Crawl out of this hell and get a girl who rewards you.

7. She Refuses to Take the Next Step

What’s the next step?

It can be anything:

Whatever it is…she doesn’t want it to happen. You’re still not sure about that? Let’s look at the facts. Whenever you want to take the next step, she backs down, makes up excuses, and takes one giant step back.

Do you want more proof?

Ask her where she sees herself and your relationship in five years.

You’ll look into the eyes of a speechless woman.

8. She Only Calls You When She Wants Something from You  

How do you know a girl is playing you?

Remember the last time she called you.

Did she call you because she wants you or because she wants something from you?

There’s a big difference. A girl who wants you calls you because she wants to see you. She wants to hang out with you and she wants to spend the day with you. a girl who wants something FROM you only calls you when she needs something.

The most important rule of all:

Only date women who call you because they want you.

9. She Forbids You to Do What She Does 

Say hello to your new friend Mrs. Double Standard.

This sign a woman is playing with you is so goddamn obvious. Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop men all over the world from ignoring and denying it. Double standards are always a red flag. There’s no exception to this rule.

Here’s the classic example:

She sleeps around but you have to be faithful.

There’s only one thing you can do about that:

Run as fast as you can, or even better, get on an airplane and fly to another country.

10. She Manipulates You with Fake Jealousy 

What if she’s jealous for no reason?

This chick is either batshit crazy or she’s playing with you.

To be honest, it doesn’t really matter. No matter if she’s crazy of using you as a play thing…you should get the hell out of there. Heck, I know guys who married women in the hope that the dramatic jealousy attacks would stop.

That’s not only stupid but also pathetic!

A woman who manipulates you with her jealousy is playing games. She wants to see how far she can take it. Believe me. A girl who does shit like that will increase the intensity once she knows that you jump when she wants you to jump.

She deserves a final “goodbye”, but not a wedding ring.  

11. She’s Only Nice When She Has to Be Nice  

A couple of years ago I dated this girl.

Okay, I admit it. I didn’t really date her. I was chasing her like a hungry dog without ever getting her. In my mind I was dating her and in her mind I was a pathetic weasel who deserves to be punished. She treated me like dirty.

Did she treat me like dirty all the time?

There were exceptions:

FYI: A special day was every day that pressured me into buying a present for her.

God, I’m so thankful that I eventually learned how to seduce women.

12. She Makes You Feel Guilty for Her Mistakes 

Let’s face it.

Women are bad at taking responsibility for their actions.

That’s true for almost every woman on this planet….especially Hillary Clinton. But some girls take it to the next level. They even blame their boyfriends (or the guys who want to be their boyfriends) for their mistakes.

The only mistake you can make with girls who blame you for their mistakes is to stay together with them.

13. You Have Never Met Each Other’s Friends and Family 

What if you’ve only been on three dates?

Don’t worry about it. At this stage you don’t have to meet her friends or any of her family members. In fact, it would be weird if she expected you to meet them. You’re not even in a relationship yet. There’s no need to worry.

But what if you’re dating her for five years?

Now it’s a sign she is playing you.

Let’s face it. There must be a reason why she doesn’t want you to meet her friends and family. Either her family sucks, in which case she might not be the perfect bride. Or she doesn’t want to make it official because, well…

It’s easier to break up with someone when nobody knows him.

14. She Tells You It’s Complicated  

That’s more than a sign. It’s a red flag.

If I remember it correctly, you can even select that as a relationship status on Facebook. Does your girl have that? Then run, run as fast as you can. When a girl says “it’s complicated”, she’s always playing you. Yes, always.

Let me ask you one very important question:

Would she say that it’s complicated if she wanted you to be her boyfriend?

Hell no!

She would beg you to change your relationship status to “in a relationship”. If a girl says “it’s complicated” she really means “I want to have it complicated”. She wants to have other guys and you can either accept it or do what I would do.

Leave her and learn how to attract women who are hotter and more loyal.

15. She’s Dating You And Still on Tinder 

That’s my all-time favorite.

I recently got an email from one of my readers. In this email he told me that his girlfriend is still on Tinder. They were together for more than one year. According to his girlfriend, she only does it to chat with guys because she likes to chat.   

Here’s what I would say to her:

“Honey, either you delete your Tinder account or I delete you from my life.”

 You deserve better.  

16. She Makes Up Excuses to Not Sleep with You

You deserve a girlfriend who wants to sleep with you.

Here’s the painful truth:

If a woman is attracted to a man, she does everything in her power to sleep with him. She will chase him, seduce him, and give him all kinds of signs to make a move on her. Women want and need sex as much as we do.

What if a girl makes up excuses to not sleep with you?

Sorry, but this is a clear sign she’s not attracted to you. I know it hurts, but that’s the truth. She’s playing games with you. You have to accept it and move on. Don’t stay in a sexless relationship. That’s like dying a slow death.

Instead…

Rise like a Phoenix from the ashes.

​

Summed Up Wisdom 

Is she playing you? There are a couple of reasons why she might be doing that. But one thing is for sure. She’s not really into you and she doesn’t want a relationship with you. Sorry, but it’s better to swallow the painful truth than to drown in a beautiful lie.

You’re a great guy and you don’t deserve a woman who only calls you when she needs you and who’s only nice when she expects something from you. No, you deserve a loving girlfriend who loves you for who you are.

What if she expects you to be faithful while she continues to swipe left and right until her fingers hurt? She’s not the right girl for you. You have to break free and rise like a Phoenix from the ashes. That’s the only path to fulfillment.