It’s time to go on your first date!
Okay, I hope you have already been on a couple of dates in your life and I also hope that not all of them ended in unanswered phone calls and credit card debt, because you were dumb enough to take her to the most expensive restaurant and to pay for it.
However, even if all your dating attempts ended in failure, misery and the uncontrollable desire to put a bullet through your head, there is no reason to put your head in the sand. Just because you ruined the last three evenings you went out with a girl by farting and burping like a Mexican construction worker who ate too many jalapenos, doesn’t mean that you’ll also ruin your next romantic evening with the girl who might become your girlfriend or your wife.
No matter if you are already a successful seducer who just wants to improve his dating skills, or if you are a complete newbie who doesn’t know the difference between deep throating and dating…
…the following Do’s and Don’ts on a first date will help you to transform your next date into a firework of positive emotions, fun and unforgettable memories.
The time where you experienced one train wreck after another and had to pay countless restaurant bills without ever getting laid are officially over. The next time you are on a date you’ll remember the following Do’s and Don’ts and as a result of that YOU WILL SUCCEED.
The Do’s and Don’ts On a First Date
In case you expect me to follow the mainstream advice by saying that you shouldn’t talk about sexual things and that you should always be nice and polite, I have to disappoint you. In fact, now that I think about it I forgot one important Do on my list:
Be sexual and communicate on a verbal and nonverbal level that you want to rip her clothes off and her brains out!
Now you know it.
Where was I? Oh, yeah, I wanted to talk about all the Do’s and Don’ts on the first date and I warned you that some of them might differ from the mainstream advice. Some of the things that I mention are common sense, others might surprise you and some of them go against the grain of what you have been taught.
Enjoy the following lists of Do’s and Don’ts and feel free to share your own dating Do’s and Don’ts in the comments below.
1, Don’t: Back Down
You just embarked on your journey towards becoming a Global Seducer. You spent the last couple of weeks reading every article and book that you could find to prepare yourself for the day when you finally approach the first girl on the street.
Today is this day.
She is gorgeous, she is funny and the best thing is that she is totally into you. She basically threw her phone number at you and when you asked her to go out with you she immediately said yes. You felt like the king of the world.
The date is in two hours.
A couple of hours ago you felt like the king of the world, but all you feel now is fear, doubt and an overwhelming feeling of insecurity.
“She probably won’t even come…”
“She is so beautiful. She will never go on a second date with me…”
“I should cancel it…”
Does that sound familiar to you? It sounded familiar to me for a long time. Today I could punch myself in the balls for all the times I canceled a date, because I was too scared to get disappointed.
Don’t even think about making the same mistake.
1. Do: Show Up
She gave you her number. She said yes when you asked her to go out with you. She takes a shower, she shaves her legs (and other parts of her body) and she dresses up for you.
She wants to meet you!
It’s okay to screw up a date because you are nervous and make hundreds of mistakes. That happens to the best of the best. However, it is not okay and to back down from something, just because you are too scared to step out of your comfort zone and to face some resistance.
Maybe you really won’t see her again after your first date, even though this is highly unlikely when you adhere to the following Do’s and Don’ts on a first date. But maybe, just maybe she is the girl of your dreams, you end up in a wonderful relationship and one day you even think about putting a baby in her belly.
Show up and find it out!
2. Don’t: Play Hard to Get by Making Her Wait
No woman dreams about being together with a lazy bum who sits in front of the TV all day. It is completely natural for women to be drawn to men who are ambitious and determined. Every woman would agree that a determined and ambitious man has a higher potential to feed a family, to protect her and to invent some cool to survive the winter.
Yes, women are biologically programmed to be attracted to men with a busy lifestyle, but that doesn’t mean that they want to date a guy who pretends to be busy, just because he wants to play hard to get.
I know many girls who believe in this concept show up late to play hard to get and unfortunately I had the pleasure to meet a few guys who believe in the same lie. As a result of this belief both you and the girl you are dating show up late and your evening starts on a basis of manipulation and inauthenticity.
Congratulations on that!
Every intelligent woman knows that you show up late on purpose and not because you had an important business meeting. Don’t trick yourself into believing that she appreciates it when she feels completely awkward while she sits alone in a café.
2. Do: Integrate some German Punctuality in Your Life
As the awesome man you are you have good manners. I don’t say that you should follow the social etiquette in every situation. It’s not about behaving like one of those uptight etiquette experts who speak as if they hadn’t had sex since the end of the Soviet Union.
All I ask you to do is to respect and appreciate the fact that a beautiful woman decided to meet you.
If this beautiful woman agreed to meet you at 7 pm it is your duty as a reputable gentleman to wait for her at 7 pm. This is the only time during a date when it’s actually advisable to be German. In all other situations it can break your neck (more on that later).
My German punctuality is one of the main reasons why a lot of my dates went really well.
Every woman dreams about walking up to a guy who is already waiting for her to give him a kiss on the cheek and to tell her that she looks absolutely stunning in her red dress. Give her this experience and you’ll have a hard time to screw up your date.
3. Don’t: Sit Opposite to Her
What’s the first thing most guys do when they enter a restaurant, café or a lounge with a beautiful woman on their side? They nervously sit down without thinking about how and where they should position themselves to make the girl they are with fall in love with them.
Believe it or not, but the way you sit has a high impact on how she will experience the date with you. If you do what most guys do, you sit opposite to her. Even though I studied psychology, I wouldn’t have needed one lecture to realize that sitting opposite to each other creates a confrontational atmosphere.
Why do you think people who want to sell you something try to sit next to you and not opposite to you?
On a date you are nothing but a salesman who tries to sell himself and his sexual skills to a woman.
Sitting opposite to her doesn’t allow you to touch her in a natural way. You can’t even put your arm around her without looking like a weirdo who tries to knock over the table.
That’s how you lose the sale.
3. Do: Sit Next to Her
As soon as you enter a dating venue your eyes should scan the room for a place that allows you to sit next to the girl you are with. There is always a way, even if you have to move your chair.
In case you have never thought about sitting next to a girl on a date and you do it for the first time, you’ll see how relaxed and also how sexual the energy between both of you gets.
She knows that you could touch her every second and the fact that your leg is only a couple of centimeters away from hers will make her feel the sexual tension in the room. She might get red whenever you come a bit closer.
By the end of the evening your hand will be around her waist and her leg will gently lie on yours. While you enjoy this intimate moment you are happy that you didn’t sit opposite to her.
4. Don’t: Try to Impress her
I know that you are proud of your job as an accountant in a big company. I mean, you can wear nice suits all day and they even gave you a fancy job title. I can’t think of anyone who doesn’t want to hear that over and over again.
I know that you are proud of your new sports car. I mean, your car is about 30 km/h faster than the car of your neighbor and you only paid a few thousand dollars more for it. I really can’t think of anyone who doesn’t want to hear that over and over again.
Wait a second. I can actually think of someone who doesn’t want to hear that over and over again.
The girl you are dating!
Unless you are dating a gold digger whose pupils change to dollar signs as soon as you tell her about your brand new sports car, she won’t be impressed by a guy who tries to impress her.
Women are attracted to guys who have the potential to be successful, but they are disgusted by guys who are so damn insecure that they have to use their material “success” as a weapon to get them into bed.
No matter how good you aim, you’ll miss your goal.
The last thing a woman wants is a guy who tries to impress her. What she really wants is a guy who is so impressive that it is completely irrelevant if he bought a new car or a new bicycle.
4. Do: Be Impressive by Being Honest
Trying to impress girls with materialistic things and fancy job titles is a sure way to attract women into your life who you don’t really want to have there and to scare the ones away who are actually good for you.
Instead of trying to impress her you should rather be a man who is truly impressive.
What does a man have to do in order to be impressive?
He has to be honest, authentic, open, direct and ask the right questions.
You can even mention your car, if you mention it in a way that reflects your honest feelings about it without communicating arrogance.
“Since I was a little child I dreamed about driving a fast sports car and last year I finally fulfilled my dream!”
Sounds completely different than…
“By the way, I drive a convertible Mercedes. Do you want to see it?”
I think you know which of the two questions shows that you are authentic and which one shows that you are a needy sausage who tries to impress her.
5. Don’t: Get Drunk
I personally don’t drink alcohol at all, but due to the fact that you might belong to the majority of guys who love to spend their weekends getting drunk, I have to put alcohol on the list of the Do’s and Don’ts on a first date.
If you think that getting drunk on your first date is the best idea you ever had, you should think again. Unless you are dating a party chick, which you shouldn’t for a number of reasons that would go beyond of the scope of this article, you should stop after your first beer.
The fastest way to make a really bad impression is by getting drunk and cracking one embarrassing joke after another, while she is sipping on her non-alcoholic drink.
I mean, which woman doesn’t dream about finding out that the amazing guy who approached her like a knight in shining armor is actually an alcoholic who desperately tries to drown his insecurities in Jim Beam?
As you see, alcohol is not only a great way to ruin your health and your life. It’s also an extremely good tool to ruin your dates.
5. Do: Let Her Drink a Glass of Wine
Ruining your reputation and your ability to kiss a girl without falling over or puking on her shoes are definitely good reasons to stay sober, but that doesn’t mean that she has to follow the same rule.
I am totally against getting women drunk and I can’t remember one incident where I got a woman drunk in order to sneak into her pants.
However, just because we are both gentlemen who don’t get women drunk, doesn’t mean that we should stop them from drinking a glass or two when they want to.
Forcing a girl to drink is pathetic, but telling her to not drink any alcohol, even though she wants it, is also not the most intelligent thing to do.
There are two good reasons why women tend to drink a glass of wine when they are on a date with you.
A: They want to sleep with you and want to get rid of their inhibition by mixing their sexual hormones with a shot of gin.
B: They want to sleep with you, but they don’t want to fall in the trap. Therefore, they need a reason to jump in bed with you that allows them to say that “it just happened”. Being tipsy is a great reason.
Let her have a drink if she wants one. She does it for you.
6. Don’t: Interpret Everything as a Negative Sign
“Oh my god, she didn’t smile for a second. I could see the corners of her mouth going down. I am screwed.”
“She just yawned. I must be so boring. I am such a cruel person for torturing her since two hours with my travel stories. I should better end this date before she falls asleep.”
We human beings have to yawn from time to time and we can’t smile for hours without seriously damaging our jaw.
Interpreting everything she does as a negative sing has the power to drive you insane. This can lead to a point of no return where you are basically analyzing every word and every move she makes.
I have done this and I know how insane this is.
Instead of wasting your time thinking about worst case scenarios you should rather focus your energy on the good things in life.
6. Do: Interpret (Nearly) Everything as a Good Sign
If you have to interpret anything, then for god’s sake interpret all of her signs in a positive way. It might sound like self-deluding, but it is actually a very good tactic to stay motivated and focused.
You are more willing to go for the kiss when you think that she likes you, than when you fear that she hates you.
When you constantly worry if she still likes you, she’ll feel your insecurity and your self-doubt. If you interpret all her signs in a positive way (unless she screams and throws stuff at you) she’ll feel your confidence and your determination.
Even if she is on the verge of not wanting to go out with you a second time, you can turn a nearly lost battle into a great victory.
A man who is convinced that he will win is way more attractive than a man who is convinced that he will lose.
But what if you are wrong? What if she is really not into you?
You’ll find it out.
It’s still better to go for the kiss and to find out that she is not the right girl for you, than to not go for the kiss and to wonder whether or not she was the right girl for you.
7. Don’t: Pay the Bill
I still remember what my mother told me when I was a pimply, shy boy who was about to go on his first date. Besides constantly repeating that I should dress and behave well to make a good first impression, she gave me the incredibly dumb tip to pay the bill.
As you can already imagine I didn’t get the kiss and I ended up walking home alone, cursing the world and promising myself that I won’t ever spent another twenty bucks on a girl whose only interest is to get a free meal.
I never did the same mistake again and I really hope that you won’t do it either.
No matter if you are dating girls in London, Bangkok, or Manila, you don’t have to pay the bill. I know that you have been conditioned through movies and advertisements that it is so romantic and “nice” if a guy pays on the first date. When you ask a woman if she wants the guy to pay for her meal, she’ll give you the same answer.
The funny thing is that reality looks slightly different.
From all the girls I dated, the ones I DIDN’T PAY FOR were the ones who ended up sucking my dick. The ones I paid for ordered the most expensive meal and didn’t answer any of my calls.
7. Do: Let Het Pay For What She Eats
The more dates I went on, the more I got the feeling that girls respect it when a man has the balls to let them pay their own stuff, whereas they lose respect when a man submits to social norms in order to please them.
90% of women will tell you that this is not true, because they don’t want to miss out on free meals, but the truth is that you do her and your relationship a favor by splitting the bill.
I even do this in Thailand and the Philippines and thanks to this rule I sifted out annoying gold diggers and attracted amazingly kind and gentle women into my life.
If you want amazing women who go out with you because they want to get to know you and not because they want to eat for free, you should stop paying for two.
8. Don’t: Talk about Your Ex-Girlfriend
There is one woman that none of the girls you are dating wants to hear about. No, it’s not your mother and it’s also not the sister of your best friend who was kind enough to take your virginity.
The girl I am talking about is your ex-girlfriend.
There are a lot of things you can talk about on a date and even though politics rank among the worst first date topics ever, the topic “my ex-girlfriend and all the she did that drove me insane” is even worse.
Yep, your nagging, jealous and slightly crazy ex-girlfriend belongs on the list of Do’s and Don’ts on a first date and she is not part of the Do’s category.
No matter if you want to talk about how boring she was in bed, how much she hated to suck your dick or how much you still love her…
…don’t do it!
Avoid this topic like the plague.
No woman wants to be compared with the girl you have been together with. No woman wants to hear how your ex-girlfriend tested you and how you failed miserably. No woman wants to imagine that she could be the next one who you break up with.
In case you want to ignore this advice, you can prepare yourself for many lonely nights.
8. Do: Talk about Each Other
What can you do instead of talking about how your ex-girlfriend forced you to consider suicide as an attractive option to end your misery?
You could stop talking about the person who doesn’t matter at all and start to talk about the two people who matter the most.
Instead of wasting your time with other people, you should focus on each other.
Get to know her and find out about her beliefs, her passion, her hobbies, her dreams. Allow her to do the same and you’ll see that it is a lot more interesting to explore (verbally and physically) than to talk about people who are long gone.
9. Don’t : Be German
One of the most important Do’s and Don’ts on the first date is slightly racist against myself. One of the worst things you can do on a date with a woman is to be German.
Stop being so damn serious!
I know that you are a man and I also know that we men tend to be slaves of our own logical mind. I know that you are constantly worrying about what to say, about how to move and about how the evening might end.
Even though your logical brain is incredibly helpful to communicate that you are a good provider who is not completely retarded, it can be a pain when it comes to having a good time.
When your logical mind prevents you from creating a fun, playful and relaxed atmosphere, you have to interfere.
9. Do: Be a Fun Guy
For some engineers and computer scientists who read this the following sentence might be a reason for a stroke. You have been warned.
Dating is about having fun and getting to know each other!
How do you have fun? By switching off your logical mind and switching on your relaxed, playful and carefree side. In case you don’t have a funny side, you should start to meditate and follow this guy’s example:
I don’t understand a freaking word he says, but he seems to have the time of his life.
That’s how happy you should be during your next date.
10. Don’t: Hold a Monologue to Underline Your Egomania
Giving a woman the chance to get to know you is great. Telling her one or two fun stories about your recent travel adventures (without mentioning all the girls you slept with) is also great. However, the monologue you hold deserves to be perpetuated on the list of Do’s and Don’ts on a first date.
I encourage you to share your life with the woman you are dating, but I don’t encourage you to share your whole life within the first minutes of the date. Endless monologues can easily make you appear as presumptuous and narcissistic, especially when you don’t give her the chance to respond.
Dating is about getting to know each other and even though a woman wants to know roughly that she will end up in bed with the man who sits next to her, she also wants to get the feeling that this man is really interested in her.
10. Do: Listen and Learn
How do you give a woman the feeling that you are interested in her?
Shut up, listen to what she has to say about herself and her attitude towards life and learn from her words.
What can you possible learn by listening to a woman who talks about how much she loves to spend her time?
More than you can possibly imagine!
A woman who wants to be seduced by you will give you thousands of verbal hints that show you exactly when and how she wants to be seduced by you. Missing out on these verbal hints makes it ten times harder to find the right time to go for the kiss.
It is your job to recognize those hints and to act upon them.
11. Don’t: Give Her a Friendly Hug and Leave
You stopped being so German, you surprised her by being a fun and relaxed guy she simply can’t resist and the date went great. She already told you that she won’t go home with you, because it’s too soon for her. You accept this and accompany her to the bus station.
You know that the bus will come within the next seconds. It’s time to say goodbye.
You give her a friendly hug and wait until she is in the bus. While you think that you just won her heart, she is totally disillusioned and doesn’t understand why you don’t see more than a friend in her. On her way home she regrets that she didn’t went home with you.
The million dollar question is:
What did you do wrong?
I tell you what you did wrong.
You hugged a girl who waited for the kiss since you asked her to go out with you!
11. Do: Go For the Kiss…Always
It might be too soon for a girl to sleep with you on the first date. That can happen, even though there are a lot of things you can do on the first date to end up in bed with her. Nevertheless, a girl who is into you wants to get kissed by you!
I have never been on a date with a girl who was into me and who didn’t reciprocate the kiss.
Of course it happened that a girl blocked me when I tried to kiss her, but in these cases I already felt that this would happen and I simply went for the kiss anyway, because I knew that I didn’t have anything to lose.
12. Don’t: Give Up After the First Date
Another variable that deserves to be on the list of Do’s and Don’ts on a first date is the time it takes you to give up.
Your inner attitude, your willingness to succeed and your ability to keep on pushing yourself determine how successful your dating life can be.
A Global Seducer who is willing to do whatever it takes to end up in bed with incredibly beautiful women, doesn’t give up after the first date.
Unfortunately, a lot of men do.
They go on a date with a girl, they talk themselves into believing that she is not interested in them and they never call her again. The reason why they give up so easily is simple and sad at the same time.
By not calling and/or meeting a girl again who could still possibly reject you, you avoid the fear of getting rejected by her and the pain in case it would really happen.
I think I don’t have to tell you that this behavior doesn’t allow any personal growth, improvement and success with women.
12. Do: Give Up After She Threatens to Call the Police
In case you want to live a life in which you are controlled by fears without ever dating amazing women, you can give up after the first date. If you, however, want an amazing life, sex with beautiful women and relationships with girls who are perfect for you, you shouldn’t even think about giving up after the first date.
Call her again, even if she didn’t reciprocate your kiss.
Maybe she was nervous, maybe she has never kissed a guy after talking to him for one hour, maybe she was insecure about her bad breath. Just because she didn’t kiss you the first time doesn’t mean that she won’t kiss you the next time.
There is a time to give up and to move on to the next girl, but it’s not after the first date, unless she threatens to call the police when you would ever call again. In this case you should move on, read my book, and go on your next first date.
Summed Up Wisdom
Show up and show up on time. Once you are at the dating venue you should make sure that you sit next to her and not opposite to her. This makes the atmosphere less confrontational and more relaxed.
Trying to impress a girl is not the best way to get in her pants and getting a girl drunk is definitely not the most honorable way to get to where you want. However, if she wants to drink in order to allow herself to jump in bed with you, you shouldn’t hinder her from doing so.
Interpreting everything as a bad sign will eventually drive you nuts. Interpreting most of her signs in a positive way will give you some extra motivation that you might need. The confidence you get from this might even motivate you to not pay for her meal.
The only two people you should talk about are you and her and definitely not your ex-girlfriend. As a fun guy you have a higher chance to score the check pot than as a serious guy who talks about himself all the time, without being able to shut up and listen to her.
While friends hug each other, you shouldn’t hug a girl after the first date. Do what she wants you to do and go for the kiss. Giving up after the first date is not an option, even if she doesn’t reciprocate the kiss. If she, however tells you to off, it’s time to move on and to enjoy your next first date.