Your heart starts to race. Your fingers are sweaty. Your throat feels as if you have swallowed a hand full of dirt. You can barely breathe while you are looking at this incredibly beautiful woman. Right before she walks past you, you take your courage in both hands and approach her.
You feel the adrenaline rushing through your veins while you run up to her and you feel proud as a peacock while you wait for her response to your compliment.
What does she do?
She rejects you.
Have you ever thought about the reasons why you are getting rejected by girls?
But don’t worry. You are not alone with this problem…
…the Asians have it too:
A lot of aspiring seducers who are starting to learn the principles of the art of seduction don’t know the reason for the rejections they are experiencing.
And no, I am not going to lie to you by saying that there is a magical pill or a secret technique that allows you to never get rejected again. Such a thing doesn’t exist and everybody who tries to sell you the idea of a 100% rejection-free life lies in your face.
As soon as you make the decision to become better with women and to go out and approach them you make the decision to get rejected by girls.
If you really want to become a successful seducer there is no way around that.
As soon as you approach the first girl you risk being rejected by her. Therefore, dealing with rejection is one of the most important skills that distinguish the men who will fail at the attempt of becoming good with women from those who will succeed in the land of vaginas.
Even though rejection is an essential part of your journey towards an abundance of beautiful women in your life, you can minimize the amount and the intensity of the rejections that you are experiencing. Knowing what to do and what not to do and understanding the reasons why you are getting rejected by women can help you immensely to cut your rejection rate by at least 50%.
Some of the reasons are directly related to you and to your behavior and the way you present yourself and others don’t have anything to do with you in particular. It is very important for your seduction success that you don’t take rejections that have nothing to do with you personally.
Every second you spend worrying about them is a second you could invest in approaching another girl who wants to get to know you. When it comes to the reasons that are directly related to your behavior and actions, a few adjustments can put a lot more numbers into your phone.
4 Rejections that Have Absolutely Nothing to Do With You
Let’s start with all the things that you have (nearly) no control over.
1. You Are Not Her Type
Even if a lot of PUA companies try to sell you the idea that you can get EVERY single girl in this world, there will always be some girls who are just not into you. Attraction is not a choice and if her subconscious mind tells her that you are not a good match for her, there is not a lot you can do to change that.
Take me as an example.
Even though I have built some muscle by hitting the gym, I am a very skinny guy with blond hair and white skin.
Do you think a girl who is only attracted to dark-skinned guys with black hair that are into professional bodybuilding would be attracted to me?
A girl who is that focused on a specific type of men will reject me before I even finish my first sentence. Besides coloring my hair and paying a fortune for skin transplantation and steroids that will eventually kill me, there is nothing I can do about it.
Do I feel bad about that?
No and you shouldn’t feel bad about it either.
Approaching a woman who rejects you after five seconds because you are not her type is the best thing that can happen to you. You only waste a few seconds of your life with a girl who is not into you and at the same time she gives you the opportunity to look for girls who are totally into you.
2. You Cause Bad Memories
Another reason why a girl might reject you is because you remind her of a person or a situation she has a lot of bad memories of. Again, there is nothing you can do about this, besides talking with her about her bad experiences and trying to convince her that you are different than the person you remind her of
In order to do that you have to find out that this is the real reason for the rejection. This is quite problematic because you have to get to know her before she will share her past with you.
The chance that her natural protective instinct will block you before you even get her number is pretty high.
How can it be possible that you cause bad memories in her?
This can have millions of reasons.
Maybe her ex-boyfriend who beat her regularly has the same voice as you. Maybe a guy who tried to rape her has started the conversation in the same way as you have. Maybe you have similarities with her father to whom she has such a bad relationship that she would love to stab a knife in his heart.
It is very likely that you will never know the real reason behind her rejection. All I know is that there is little to nothing that you can change about the fact that you trigger negative emotions in her.
The best advice I can give you is to stop taking rejections personally. Otherwise you drive yourself insane, because of a “no” that has absolutely nothing to do with you.
3. She is Happy with Another Man
This is a big one. There are countless PUAs out there who try to sell you their “irresistible boyfriend destruction line” or their “seduce girls who have a boyfriend pattern”.
Well, the shocking truth is that some girls who are in a relationship are easier to seduce than girls who are single. Those are the girls who are in unhappy or even abusive relationships in which they neither experience sexual nor emotional fulfillment.
If she, however, is in a relationship with a man she truly loves, there is absolutely nothing you can do to overcome this barrier.
No “boyfriend destruction line” or NLP pattern on this planet will make her jump in bed with you when she is really in love with another man.
4. She Had a Bad Day
Sometimes you have the misfortune to hit on a girl who has a really bad day and who just wants to hide under her blanket. I know that it sounds brutal, but talking to you might be the last thing on earth she wants to do.
Maybe her boyfriend broke up with her and she promised herself to never talk to a man again. Maybe she had a terrible day at work where she was bullied by one of her coworkers. Maybe her cat had the worst diarrhea you can imagine and her whole apartment is one big poop fest.
The good news about girls who reject you because they have a bad day is that you can actually do something to rescue the situation.
If you approach a girl and you see that she is somehow stressed, annoyed or simply in a very negative state, you can directly ask her what’s wrong with her and what you can do to make her smile.
This shows that you have a genuine interest in her emotional wellbeing and that making her happy is a natural thing to do for you. The simple attempt of making her smile can prevent a rejection and lead to first an amazing first date.
6 Rejections that Have Everything to Do With You
Let’s continue this article with all the things for which I could slap you in the face 😉
5. Your Approach is too Aggressive
Now we come to the first reason you are getting rejected that you actually have an impact on. In case you are familiar with some of my articles you definitely know that I constantly emphasize to come at peace with your sexuality, to show that you are a sexually confident man and to approach women in a direct way.
Even though the aspects I just listed are an essential part of being a great seducer who is able to survive in the land of women without too many dry spells, the concept of sexual aggression can be quite confusing for newbies.
The big problem that you might face when you just start out with this whole approaching women thing is that you are not calibrated enough. This can easily lead to an approaching style that is too aggressive and too pushy.
It admittedly took me a while to learn the difference between self-confident body language and invading her private space. It took me even more time to understand the difference between seducing a girl with your eyes and staring at her like a creep. Through trial and error I also discovered the difference between touching a girl in a subtle way and touching her in a creepy way.
One reason why you might get rejected over and over again is because you are way too aggressive.
What can you do about this problem that you might not even be aware of?
Whenever you have the feeling that a girl is intimidated by the way you approach her you just have to address the elephant in the room. There is nothing wrong with asking her for an honest feedback.
Another way of preventing this problem is to listen carefully to her words and to observe her actions. As soon as you have the feeling that she is slightly uncomfortable you can adjust your body language and your behavior in a way that make her more comfortable in your presence.
6. Your Intent is Not Clear
There are always two sides of the same coin and when you turn the “too sexually aggressive” side around, you discover the “unclear intent” side.
No matter if you do it through your words, your body language, your eye contact or through sign language, it is absolutely necessary that you project your intent and that your sexual intention is clear from the beginning. If you don’t do that she will automatically put you in the friend zone. Besides the Sahel zone that’s definitely the last zone you want to be in.
The tricky thing about approaching girls with an intent that is anything but clear is that you won’t get rejected…at least not immediately.
She might laugh, she might smile and she might even give you her number because you are such a nice guy. Even if she agrees to meet you (as a friend of course), she will reject you the very moment you try to make a move on her.
In order to prevent this time-consuming and frustrating process you have to approach her with a clear intent. The more women you approach, the more you’ll see the fine line between being too sexually aggressive and behaving like an asexual neuter.
Have fun experimenting.
7. You are Scared of being Rejected
It sounds creepy, but women can sense and feel if you are afraid of them. That’s why being scared of women and especially being afraid of getting rejected by them is a main reason you are getting rejected.
It is a vicious cycle.
The more afraid you are, the higher the chance that she will sense your fear and that she will reject you. This of course leads to even more fear and more rejections.
I know how devastating that sounds, but…
The good news is that you can work on this aspect and destroy your fears.
The fear of getting rejected is closely related to the fear of being judged by other people. Therefore, you can easily overcome it by deliberately experiencing and surviving situations in which you are exposed to judgement.
From all the reasons why you are getting rejected that I share with you in this article, this is the one that is both the easiest and the hardest to work on. It is the easiest because you can destroy your fears in a couple of hours and it is the hardest because it takes a lot of courage to actually do it.
8. You Forget to Smile
Smile motherfucker, smile!
I have seen so many guys approaching girls with a face that looks as if the world was about to end in a second and I am pretty sure that we both know the reason for this serious and tense facial expression.
Whenever you approach a girl with a facial expression of a psychopathic serial killer with congestion, you are too much in your head. You worry so much about what might happen next and where the interaction leads that you can neither enjoy the moment nor concentrate on anything she says.
The problem is that a girl doesn’t think: “oh, the reason for his angry and serious face must be his nervousness. That’s alright.”
The uncomfortable truth is that she most likely thinks: “why is this guy looking at me as if he wants to kill me? I feel really uncomfortable right now. I want to get away from him as fast as I can.”
What can you do to prevent this from happening?
Mother Nature gave you the ability to smile in order to show the people you are interacting with that you are not a threat and that you come in peace. Use this inherent ability and enjoy how your rejection rate decreases with every smile.
9. You Make Her Fall Asleep
If you have boring conversations it is very likely that you are getting rejected. Period. Before you look for an excuse and tell me that the real reason for all the boring conversations you have is that all the girls you are talking to are boring, I want you to think about whether or not blaming her for your mistake will improve your dating life.
I don’t deny that you might meet a few girls who are absolutely boring. That happens from time to time. However, if you are constantly getting rejected by women and you have the feeling that the conversations lack passion, excitement and connection, you should ask yourself what you are doing wrong instead of blaming them for everything.
I know from my own experience that an honest self-analysis leads to more success than denying the obvious.
There can be many reasons why your conversations suck ass.
Maybe you talk about the weather or her ugly handbag, instead of getting to know her deeper level. Maybe you give her the feeling that she is in a job interview, instead of making her laugh and smile with a fun and flirtatious conversation style.
What’s the solution?
10. You Fail Her Tests
What do you do when you approach a woman and she smiles, but doesn’t stop?
Most guys back down and let her walk away without ever seeing them again.
A successful seducer knows that a smile can be an indicator of interest. He knows that he has at least a 50% chance that she will stop the second time.
What do you do when you approach a woman and she doesn’t react at all?
Most guys back down and stumble “I am sorry” before they walk away.
A successful seducer knows that a girl who shows no reaction might test him to see how he reacts on it.
No reaction? No worries!
He continues with the conversation and you hopefully do the same.
Some women smile and thank you immediately after you have approached them, while others use the seconds of silence after the compliment for a little test. They don’t do it because they are mean or because they want to see you cry.
They just want to find out if you are the self-confident man you pretend to be.
In other words:
A woman who tests you wants to find out if you are worth spreading her legs for.
Not if you don’t have access to this toolbox.
In the same way as failing her tests is a reason to reject you, mastering them is a reason to have sex with you.
All you have to do is to stay calm, react with a cheeky smile and let her know that you are not the kind of guys who runs home to mommy as soon as a woman tests him.
Summed Up Wisdom
It can have many reasons why you are getting rejected by girls. You might not be the type of guy she is attracted to, you might remind her of her violent ex-boyfriend and cause some really bad memories or your approach might be too aggressive. In addition to that there are other reasons why you are getting rejected that have nothing to do with you, such as the fact that she is in a happy relationship with another man or that she had a really bad day and doesn’t want to talk to anyone.
Of course there are also reasons that are related to your behavior and that you can work on, such as your unclear intent, your fear of women, your inability to smile and your boring conversation style. Another reason why you are getting rejected might be the fact that you fail some of her tests that are by far not as shitty as the pickup community says.